Hell Bent.

By ColorMeToxic

All of your dirty bedroom talk
makes me feel like a slut.
No number of "I love you's" can
erase the feeling in my gut.

Sometimes I can't wait for you
to finish and get the hell off.
It's not you, it's me, it's just...
sometimes, it feels so wrong.

I'm permanently broken,
cant you see?
You've tried and cried
and still can't fix me.

I'm just playing the cards
that I was so cruelly handed.
I'm sorry after all of this time
you still can't understand it.

My stomach churns,
I want to vomit.
like mental cancer,
My brain starts a riot.

You are hell bent
on making it better
The mental illness
is stronger than ever.

It's stronger than you
and it's stronger than me.
Next time I say no...
Don't keep asking me please.

P.S. Did you learn anything?

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Thursday, May 5, 2011. Filed under: "Abuse" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

Tells of some of the lingering after effects of childhood sexual abuse.

Comments on "Hell Bent."

On Sunday, May 15, 2011, ANGELSLAYER (116) wrote:

Wow. A hell of a lot of emotion
A former member wrote: I liked this simply amazing
On Sunday, May 15, 2011, suicidalsecrecy (42) wrote:

This is awesome. Chillingly good.
On Saturday, May 7, 2011, Nameless Pariah (126) wrote:

This was dark and deep.
A former member wrote: hmmmm..... the cold distance em.bed.ded in these words is tangible.... a clear, bullet-proof division, like looking through that dirty thick glass at a corner pharmacy in Tijuana..... at night.
A former member wrote: Perfect .. great metaphors by the way :)
On Thursday, May 5, 2011, Devilish (2633) wrote:

I did... mental cancer... Hell fuckin yeah... Perfect dish for me. Tastes as good as it feels! Thank you