Just Another Reason to Crawl Under the Blanket and Cry

By SilentStalker

*This may truly break me. Be warned, some words speak louder than others.*

Sleep evades you...
when you're alone...


So many things I want to say to you
So many things we still don't know
So much time we need to learn everything
And so little time I feel I have...

Saying goodnight never hurt so badly before

Sheets are cold when no one is with you.
Dreams are despair when you think of someone
You know you can't touch
My pillow is my only comfort--grasping it at night
Thinking, dreaming that it is you
Wishing you could feel my embrace
And praying I could feel yours in return

You say you needed a hug; didn't you realize...?
I give you one every night.

"I feel like my heart just flew down a couple states. When you're done with it, could you throw it back again?"

"I will."

"Nevermind. Keep it."


"Cause it's been yours for a while anyway. Even though I'm not expecting a lot, or anything at all, I'm comfortable keeping my heart with someone who appreciates it."

All the flaws, all the scars, all the weaknesses
And you treat this heart even better than your own.
How does one so delicate...hold another up so easily?

Don't try to catch me when I fall; I don't want to pin you down as well.

Yet here I stand--pieced back together
By a hand smaller than my own.
Perhaps size truly is just a misconception.

I never was good at intricate puzzles, anyway

If this pain is the reward for love
Then I shall brace myself for more,
Because I don't want it to go away.

I have drank away my tears before;

These...these I want to remember...

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2006 Darun Ferguson
Published on Sunday, May 7, 2006.     Filed under: "Love" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

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Comments on "Just Another Reason to Crawl Under the Blanket and Cry"

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  • sIo On Saturday, March 3, 2018, sIo (911)By person wrote:

    I see this on so many poets favorites list and occasionally I bring myself to click on it. Unless it’s a recent addition I’ve never seen the authors note until today. As heart crippling as this work is, I’ll never tire of reading it and shuddering at the echo of my heart simply blooming into shards.

  • sIo On Friday, April 6, 2018, sIo (911)By person wrote:

    My heart.

  • sIo On Friday, December 16, 2016, sIo (911)By person wrote:

    Open chest cavity, extract and presents heart.

  • A former member wrote: I loved this so much... words escape me trying to say what I feel, but you have captured them perfectly

  • Star On Monday, December 23, 2013, Star (1189)By person wrote:

    so much heartbreak and so much sadness. beautiful words to the tragedy of love.

  • Poe Etiquette On Sunday, February 13, 2011, Poe Etiquette (155)By person wrote:

    did no one take the time to read the highlighted letters??? i loved the write and i loved the reference back to the first piece. like an answer to the quetion. even though the answer does not satisfy. which is ironic, as the first pieces theme was such as that. i loved this

  • A former member wrote: Sad 7beautiful and relateable .impressive read ,thanks for sharing

  • CharlottesWeb On Friday, May 22, 2009, CharlottesWeb (521)By person wrote:

    This is the first poem of yours I've read in a long while. I was really missing out. The sincerity laid out so beautifully in this...is inspiring. Very touching. Thank you for sharing.

  • A former member wrote: i love my pillow ,divorced 6 years and still noone comes close .... i feel all of this too real . thanks for this read!:)

  • SilentStalker On Tuesday, January 27, 2009, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...this has a deeper meaning that likely only few caught, and was the main reason for my turmoil...then again, it's a common tragedy (of sorts), so it's easy to understand the despair that came from it... Scholar

  • A former member wrote: i can't take it with me so i starve for now? wow....deep words dude, i love the poem i could read this over and over, and still get the same feeling as the first,i've been through this.great write Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Sunday, July 20, 2008, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...good job getting the second part of that...the first part probably explains it even moreso when you find that out... Scholar

  • totaltrip On Sunday, June 29, 2008, totaltrip (36)By person wrote:

    oh wow. i'm in love with this. i know these words too well.

  • Aurora_Light On Friday, June 27, 2008, Aurora_Light (482)By person wrote:

    i know the feeling of being alone and having your heart in the hands of another. this is a beautiful work crafted with such skill

  • Guillotine On Tuesday, August 21, 2007, Guillotine (176)By person wrote:

    Crushing... bittersweet, disastrously beautiful and filled with elegant melancholy, soft and warming and shilling... how you managed to fit all this into a poem is beyond me, and I'm left in awe of you once again.

  • GraveFlower On Friday, June 8, 2007, GraveFlower (283)By person wrote:

    awe.....i cant believe im just finding this, is so sad, sacraficing, and beautiful///////*sheets are cold when no one is with you*.....awe ~*danni*~

  • A former member wrote: oh.. my.. I particularly like the 'if this pain is the reward for love...' line/statement, so absolutely deep and true, real... this is beautiful

  • Alanarchy On Thursday, May 11, 2006, Alanarchy (1184)By person wrote:

    That last line... Simply crushed be beneath the wait of a million unanswered love notes. What can I say that hasn't already been said by more competent folk. Darun. Well done.

  • SilentStalker On Thursday, May 11, 2006, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...though I love her, and probably won't ever be able to stop, I just feel that it's wrong to pursue her...so until things become more clear, and answers just a bit more obvious, I'm painfully standing back... Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Thursday, May 11, 2006, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...key word "standing"...I refuse to fall, because I would fail everyone that ever tries to come to me for help... Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Thursday, May 11, 2006, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...she means so much to me, and probably doesn't realize it; but I'll end up being able to do nothing at all if I let this rip me to shreds...using one's head is just as important as using one's heart... Scholar

  • Sin On Thursday, May 11, 2006, Sin (1179)By person wrote:

    your strength is a pillar to us all..just remember even support beams need help standing up sometimes..and if you ever need to talk im there for you *hugs*

  • PoeticHellion On Wednesday, May 10, 2006, PoeticHellion (192)By person wrote:

    Wow. That was... wow. So empowering, confusing, beautiful.

  • Dissolving Poet On Monday, May 8, 2006, Dissolving Poet (564)By person wrote:

    Now that I've maintain sanity, this was just incredible you made my heart burst into thousands of little pieces with this. You know how to work your magic no matter if you're writing stalker, or this. *claps*

  • yslehc On Monday, May 8, 2006, yslehc (340)By person wrote:

    well this is new.. love is a good feeling to have, even if you have to go the sucky parts to have it.

  • Dissolving Poet On Monday, May 8, 2006, Dissolving Poet (564)By person wrote:

    ....oh my.....Darun......this was just....I couldn't say any words....This was just amazing.

  • elisa On Monday, May 8, 2006, elisa (1637)By person wrote:

    every word...... a lasting impact........i sit wreathed in the echo of each letter......... of everything i could say... you already know how i feel.

  • Rachel On Monday, May 8, 2006, Rachel (268)By person wrote:

    Darun... Damn. I can't say anything. Wow. I'm so glad you're writing again. *favs*

  • D3ADT0WN On Monday, May 8, 2006, D3ADT0WN (191)By person wrote:

    Wow...I was talking to someone about commenting people and not having the words to say that express this persons work..and i just don't know what to say..This was wonderful i love it thanks for chearing -justin-

  • Kinkypoptart On Sunday, May 7, 2006, Kinkypoptart (578)By person wrote:

    Wow.. this is like nothing i've ever read before. I felt every ounce of emotion you poured into this piece... I saw the pain... This is like a forced invasion of privacy... and i should be arrested. :) *hugs* you are the best, Darun ~*~TarT~*~

  • sIo On Sunday, May 7, 2006, sIo (911)By person wrote:

    does 'holy fuckin' shit' qualify as a response?

  • vaultgrl On Sunday, May 7, 2006, vaultgrl (186)By person wrote:

    ...wow....Darun....i've never seen this part of you before.....it's beautiful......painfully beautiful....i am so...just.....i like this side of you....but not the feelings that make you right this way....if you can understand that....

  • SilentStalker On Monday, May 8, 2006, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...don't like that I learned how to love all over again...? no, you can't mean that...these feelings are something I forgot, long, long ago... Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Monday, May 8, 2006, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...if you're referring to the pain behind the words...? realize that I had a painful transition to hate earlier in life; it's understandable that the transition back would hurt just as much... Scholar

  • A former member wrote: "Yet here I stand--pieced back together By a hand smaller than my own." ........... *speechless* Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Sunday, May 7, 2006, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...you, girly, got a good education, no...? Scholar

  • A former member wrote: *smiles* Something like that.. Scholar

  • Sin On Sunday, May 7, 2006, Sin (1179)By person wrote:

    my god...i feel like im reading your journal..this is your heart spread out on paper, written in your tears ,and soaked in your pain..your last couple of writes have just broke me

  • A poet of madness On Sunday, May 7, 2006, A poet of madness (128)By person wrote:

    Stalker, your write is like a kidnappers note by a serial killer. You truly ARE deranged.

  • Six-Out On Sunday, May 7, 2006, Six-Out (1481)By person wrote:

    This seesm far more sad and heart destroying than it does deranged. Are you sure you read the right poem?

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