Dearest Angel

Please know that when you ripped my heart out
I said I needed to be free
It was all lies
Surtured shut with lipstick and white lines of [in]sainity.

Please know
That when I said I didn't cry
And you asked me to speak up, because my voice is so soft over the phone
That tears ran like a something feral I could not contain

Sweet, sweet, you...

"Your so niave..."
These words you so often threw at me
When you knew not
...anything.

Please understand that you didn't know me at all
You knew a shadow searching
For anything

Please realize that the fix I needed I never found in you
And never wanted to
That the wounds were and are .still. real
I {never/always} still .really. ment to spit in your face

[or stab you in the back...]

Please understand
I did what I had to do
To hurt you
And that I told you a lie when I said this was only for a simple excersize in fulfillment
[That I'm still empty...]

And please
Never find out
That I [never] told you

I [never/always/forever/still] Love[d] you.