I want my damn supernova back!

By Army Barbie

I’m laying back in a freezing bed.
.
.

Your rigid body poured ice between our sheets
Replacing the supernova you cast there before you left.

I watch your sun pretend to rise
Each. Morning.
.
.
.
You’re living a lie.
And not sure what you’re faking.

[You. Love. (Me) ]

......I lean forward......
Preying on every breath you take
Just to be sure reality is presenting its self clearly

You are here.
You’re not mine.
.
.
.
You still sleep in our bed.
My bare feet still patter around your apartment floor
My Diet Rootbeer still has a place in your fridge
My mint chocolate chip icecream (the white kind!) still resides in your freezer.
I have my own underwear drawer
(Full of tasteful delicates you grin at)
And I have my clothes scattered in your closet.
.
.
.
Why am I here
When you look through me
When you catch my eyes.

What do you see anymore?

Did war blind you to me?
Did it erase any love you ever expressed?
Or make you see you falsely claiming you loved me?

Make me nervous.
I’ll surrender to you...
Because it feels better to feel your touch than to know
You’re turning away from my skin.
.
.
.
Make me stutter
On the edge of my breath
Shaking with anticipation
As each kiss......s l o w l y
C.r.a.w.l.s up my legs.

I miss you.
(I’ve missed you for so long.)

Twilight was breaking at our door.
Nothing bad happens when the sky is ablaze
With [g o l d e n] hues
So paint me [g o l d e n] with your fingertips.
.
.
.
Don’t let my sky fade.
Touch me.
Use me.
Feel me.
Need me.
Want me.
.
.
.
I yearn.
I need you to need me again.

I hate this brisk wind coming out of the ceiling fan
When I’m laying in a freezing bed.
.
.
.

Can I have my supernova back
If I promise to make everything okay?

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Tuesday, November 1, 2005. Filed under: "Poetry"

Awards

February 2nd, 2014

Comments on "I want my damn supernova back!"

A former member wrote: Wow, that's deep on a new scale. It hurt just to read.
On Sunday, February 2, 2014, Katarina (7) wrote:

I loved every heartfelt word. I could feel your pain and longing to have the man you love return your affection. Very inspiring work!
On Thursday, September 21, 2006, Bluegirl (177) wrote:

This penetrates me. I feel it. Oh, it's so lovely. Thank you! Please keep the ink flowing. :)
On Wednesday, May 3, 2006, Thorn (283) wrote:

Jesus, COurtney... This poem just shot my mood to hell, but it was so beautiful, I'd say it was well worth the read.
On Thursday, February 2, 2006, Soulfire (97) wrote:

Wow...girl...this is damn good. My boyfriend is home from Iraq and boy do things change!
On Friday, December 16, 2005, Possesion (137) wrote:

the images ...are dim. in my mind's eye i hear your thoughts and feel your sheets but i cant see your words any clearer then to feel them. and i feel them with every fiber of my soul.
On Saturday, November 5, 2005, AniDayz (820) wrote:

...i read this before...and still, do not know what to say feeling unworthy of saying anything...but here i am...i find myself feeling deeply for you, and what you are going thru.change[s]-so hard to swallow,+ to see thru to the other side
On Wednesday, November 2, 2005, Err0r (365) wrote:

This I think was a wake up call. So depressing, but a realization that needed to be made. Wonderful and yet saddening write my friend.
A former member wrote: *sighs* If I could give you your supernova back, you know I would in a heartbeat...this is so breathingly painful...once again, you and I have crossed wave lengths to meet midway between love and pain. Agonizing piece. *Evangel*
On Wednesday, November 2, 2005, Kinkypoptart (555) wrote:

Just had to stop and drop a line cuz u reminded me of something... I watched a movie once called soldiers girl... about some transexual... not saying you are but... ehhh nevermind.
On Wednesday, November 2, 2005, Army Barbie (324) wrote:

Hm...ya never know... (j/k!)
On Wednesday, November 2, 2005, GothicBlack (186) wrote:

a heartrenching example, of why the young should not be sent out to war. No one is ment to handle it, or deal with it afterwards. It effects everyone in someway.
On Wednesday, November 2, 2005, GothicBlack (186) wrote:

on a seperate note. This poem is mournfully BEAUTIFUL. It shows the colors of you soul. Good Luck. Best Of Wishes. ~gothic~
A former member wrote: this is so achingly beautiful..i cant even pick out a favorite line, because this entire thing was just so artfully woven. i love it.
On Tuesday, November 1, 2005, glasshouse (548) wrote:

wrenching piece. honest and raw and positively wrenching. great imagery and perfect word choice. i wanted to answer your every question. great job. -Glass
A former member wrote: That is really really sad... but it's cool though...
On Tuesday, November 1, 2005, veingo (532) wrote:

You've broken my heart again. What else could I possibly say? ^V^