“Let’s just let it be
Whatever it is
Cause I don’t know
If I’m ready
For something serious.”
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Enter, Stage Left:
The Whatevership!
All dolled up and ready
To dance its way
To a storefront near you.
 
Fully equipped
With the sweet sweet comfort
Of label-less deniability
 
Squash those pesky vulnerabilities
With these simple steps
And the Whatevership
Can protect you from catching “The Feels”
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You already made your 3 easy payments of $19.95
(Plus shipping and handling)
And we signed on the line
For a worry free existence.
 
The rules are simple enough
Like a formula drenched in lovers lost
Heartbreak un-mended.
 
Take the cumulative
Of the love you’ve given plus
The pain you’ve hidden over a lifetime of longing
And apply an equal amount of effort
Into convincing yourself this doesn’t matter.
 
Your damage dictates your indifference.
 
It’s a zero sum game
Where we emerge the same save
The quantity of orgasms
And text messages
And saliva
And laughs
And sweat
And delicate conversational intricacies
We add along the way.
But… that’s…
That’s just… whatever…
Right?
 
Because a decided lack of label
Spares us the pain of attachment
The sting of rejection
The reality of intensity
The devastation of what you could steal from me
And the burden of a fluttery little paper folded heart in your hand with my name on it.
Thankfully, those things aren’t possible
Until “you” and “I” become an “us”
And there is no “us” in a Whatevership.
 
I want my money back
Because my Whatevership
Is malfunctioning
I’m following the steps
With an iron clad, flippant façade
Reinforced by the culmination of my broken pieces
 
I’ve thrown my entirety into the game
And I was supposed to be bullet proof.
Maybe they sold me a bad vest
Because that growing ache
Feels like something broke through
Left some fragments embedded in sinew.
 
Someone told me once
That metal works its way to your heart
I can feel it
It’s dragging its way round
When I check my phone
Keep my calendar open (just in case)
Bury my face in a Whatevership scented pillow
And leave an extra towel on the warmer.
 
It’s getting dangerously close
To more than nothing
Which is something more
Than the Whatevership I was promised.
 
But I’m outside my warranty
Just wishing
That authenticity wasn’t so taboo
Just wishing
It wasn’t so hard for us
To acknowledge the hearts we’re holding.