...Chaotica

By SolApathy

Broken of the mold
Transition-- I unfold
Convert from the invert
Reinsert
Into your mind
I bind
Synapse collapse
I relapse
Drifting into this kaleidoscope dream
I seem
Beyond meaning
Of nothing worth being
Fallen into the void of the opioid
I fathom colors beyond the prism
As I enter this schism
Fueled by Xanax desires
I float upon the flames of fire
Inject the sanctity of heroin screams
Freezing// Boiling as the world is disjoining
Symptom of the desire not to be
I’ve invested in every escape there is to be
Marijuana mellow as I chill with my fellows
Ingest the PCP as I become the insanity
Breaking the barriers of chaotic flavors
23 bullets and still I savor  
Heart pumping beyond the threat of exploding
I look to the next drug I’m reloading
Methamphetamine daze
I feel my reality as it echoes out of phase
Burning as I can’t stop this fuse
My heart explodes and still I feel I’m not the one to lose

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2020 SolApathy
Published on Thursday, September 28, 2017.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

...Into the driven desires of one who for so long desired to end his...Song
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Comments on "...Chaotica "

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  • A former member wrote: I can relate. I am also a fellow addict. I can relate to the feelings and it makes me want to lie down in cry, and to realize in some ways we are alone.

  • SolApathy On Thursday, March 7, 2019, SolApathy (652)By person wrote:

    Thank you for the comment....I am not an addict myself, but I lost one of my best friends to it. She was stable for many years on Suboxone. After Obamacare they forced her to change doctors, dropped her to 50% of her prescription and sle lost control and got back on the H. It killed her.

  • A former member wrote: I know all too well about falling into the opioid void, and it's a painful thing when one really hits rock bottom. I do have to say that I have NEVER met anyone who can spin words into beautiful written tapestries like you do. Take a bow, dearest. Rebs:).

  • A former member wrote: Really love the way you executed this, the imagery was painted so smoothly and it stayed right up in your face. Read this more than once!

  • Mute Serenade On Friday, September 29, 2017, Mute Serenade (389)By person wrote:

    This is my favorite. Honestly. It's ripe with your style while still feeling like such a departure. I like it's snappy flow as it pounds it's way home. Seriously the best. I love this so hard.


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