Thorns On The Ground
By Intoxicating Delirium
Hiding in corners, creeping in the shadow
Waiting to strike, my victim not knowing
Some see me coming, but others I follow
Either way your soul I’ll be owning
Don’t try to run, I’ll catch you my darling
You’ve got a brave face, but remember it’s mine
You’re tiered already, but I’m only starting
I’ll take everything from you in time
You have no shoes on your feet
There are thorns on the ground
You’re running in terror, this horrors so sweet
The scent of your blood is attracting hell hounds
You escaped from the doctors
Possessed by those demons
But out here there’s monsters
Now your lucidity weakens
I’ll play with your mind
Can you hear my breathing
Your world so unkind
Oh how I love teasing
You think you’ve escaped, alone in this barn
I’ll let you believe it for a minute or two
You take a deep breath your body so worn
Look at you weeping as if on cue
I’ll push you and shove you in every direction
You plead for my mercy, but none will be given
You must understand my deadly infection
As insanity locks you in your own prison
Comments on "Thorns On The Ground"
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On Monday, January 14, 2019, FearlessDragon
(137) wrote:
Awesome write! Love the suspense, I like being able to picture the killer's and the victim's perspective.
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A former member wrote:
Wonderfully haunting, wickedly rhyming, and all with just a spectacular setting. Truly inspiring.
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A former member wrote:
Spell binding, I wasnt sure where you were going. I had a clue when you escaped..but you held me captive until i was in your own prison...very nice work !!
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A former member wrote:
Bravo! i love the horror movie vibe and then how you twist it into something completely psychological
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On Monday, September 16, 2013, TropicalSnowstorm
(1580) wrote:
Note to self: Never piss off this one... : ) Ciao, T/S
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On Friday, September 13, 2013, Commander_Cadaver
(233) wrote:
Great write. Dark and left me wanting more.
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A former member wrote:
Nicely written..love the twist at the end. There's no worse fear than from one's own insanity. Our minds can be our worse enemy.
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On Tuesday, September 3, 2013, Intoxicating Delirium
(273) wrote:
Thank you all for the wonderful comments :)
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On Monday, August 26, 2013, Peyton1
(204) wrote:
Aaahhhh, the fear, the thrill of the hunt! I absolutely loved you using insanity as the monster....very nicely done!! The flow was captivating and easy to follow, it unfolded beautifully, loved it! Your rhyme scheme was WONDERFUL. They say there's two sides to every story. Here's how to break it down. Read the 1st and 3rd lines, then the 2nd and 4th lines of each paragraph. Voila! two stories become one. The secret lies in the intertwining.......Excellent job, I love this writing style. YOU, my dear, are truly talented!!! (That's what I got from it.....)
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On Sunday, August 25, 2013, Scarrzz
(235) wrote:
That was a most enjoyable read. The twisted emphasis at the end finishes like a fine wine.
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On Tuesday, August 20, 2013, dwells
(4177) wrote:
Rhyme scheme jumps around a bit but reading your message loud and clear(ly) - cheers KR! Keep writing!!
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On Tuesday, August 20, 2013, FadedBlues
(2096) wrote:
...you capture a very forbidding terror in this, pursued by something horrible & invisible. passionate writing...
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On Tuesday, August 20, 2013, haunted
(837) wrote:
the thorns keep us alive, they remind us pain is real and in this case they take the pain from tormenting demons from infesting our dreams or nightmares. real or not, theres no easy way out. but i loved your poem, and if you rearranged some words here and there, this poem would really kick ass and flow nicely. awesome caitlinryen!