per.fection

By SilentStalker

She...

molded.butterflies with eagles' wings
but they seemed clumsy and bewildered...
so she shaped them into something more manageable.
it was perfection.

but I saw...

She...

carved flowers with sycamore.stems.
but they outgrew the size of her garden...
so she pruned the bases away.
and it was perfection.

but I saw...

She...

sang a song of a thousand emotions.
but the world began to weep...
so she only sang of serenity.
and it was perfection.

but I saw...

I saw butterflies soar.like.eagles...
perching on branches
of roses and daisies
that towered.over even the highest mountains.

I heard a song that moved the oceans...
and a world that cried.rivers
bringing life to the limitless possibilities
that she could hope to create.

it was amazing.
it was beauty.
it was perfect.

I just wish...

she could see it...

the way I had.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Sunday, January 20, 2013. Filed under: "Love" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

For Natelle. :)

Awards

March 27th, 2013

Comments on "per.fection"

On Thursday, October 1, 2020, sIo (898) wrote:

I've been reading your work on and off for the past two days. I have been hesitant to comment. This is truly beautiful.
On Wednesday, November 8, 2017, Cassette (1087) wrote:

carved flowers with sycamore stems... beautiful.
On Friday, November 6, 2015, TropicalSnowstorm (1580) wrote:

What a wonderful piece! Lovely on so many levels, the imagery is engulfing. Ciao, T/S
A former member wrote: "I heard a song that moved the oceans... and a world that cried.rivers bringing life to the limitless possibilities that she could hope to create." that was my favorite part of the poem and the rest just great it was perfect. 10 -Mrk
A former member wrote: Very sweet and sad poem. I hope she can see as you do. Its very sad to know so many people feel worthless. Regardless if you believe in a God who made you, if you evolved without a creator, or if you were a lucky turtle in the ocean coming up through a single tube (a Buddhist metaphor) everyone is needed. Everyone can make a co tribution that only they can make. Its ironic that a person will Searcy through hand pressed shirts each slightly different and feel amazing that it's one in a thousand when they feel nothing that they are one in billions.
A former member wrote: The first line of the third stanza is the perfect description of women in general. This poem should be named " The Revelations of Natelle "
A former member wrote: the title sums this up beautifully. This brought tears to my eyes, im am happy to have read this... seems like people still do have a way with words :)
On Tuesday, November 11, 2014, Constantly Connie (9) wrote:

Tears in my eyes...simply, lyrical perfection. Thank you!
A former member wrote: Breathtaking, it is poems like these that make people throw it all away and try to become writers!!
A former member wrote: I like the unique flow of this poem. Sometimes amazing people have trouble seeing how amazing they are. You presented a very romantic image, that was a joy to read.
A former member wrote: I am so in love with this poem that I am actually stunned on how to comment on it. Breathtaking poem.
On Wednesday, July 2, 2014, vicimineo (31) wrote:

I'd say you just described how every woman wants to be seen. Beautiful writing.
A former member wrote: This is a well deserved honor. I enjoy the artful way you move these lines to form a mastery of thoughts!
On Thursday, December 12, 2013, infinitebeing (80) wrote:

Wow! This write gave me goosebumps! So beautifully penned
On Saturday, September 21, 2013, Vexed (74) wrote:

that was a very beautiful poem. I hope the person you wrote it for really liked it too :)
On Saturday, August 3, 2013, xZombie Poptartzx (332) wrote:

This was beautiful... "carved flowers with sycamore.stems. but they outgrew the size of her garden... so she pruned the bases away. and it was perfection." That stanza, breathtaking. xoxo
On Wednesday, May 8, 2013, soul_versing (774) wrote:

Stunning! You, sir, are perfection..The way you form your thoughts. A beautiful disaster, filled with elegance. Bows to you sir 10/10
On Wednesday, March 27, 2013, FadedBlues (2096) wrote:

...this is ultimate admiration. you're a warrior of the heart...
On Monday, March 18, 2013, DarkDruidess (313) wrote:

You are a God...yea simply stated...
A former member wrote: perfect. beautiful writing.
A former member wrote: This is probably one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read..just marvelous! BRAVO!
On Friday, February 8, 2013, Lynaes (854) wrote:

carved flowers with sycamore.stems. but they outgrew the size of her garden... so she pruned the bases away. I love, I love, I love.
On Wednesday, February 6, 2013, Aunty Depressant (423) wrote:

I enjoyed the pace of the repetition, and the tie into the resolving premise.
On Wednesday, January 30, 2013, Jonas (715) wrote:

what struck me and compelled me to comment is that these words can be followed down several different paths and through several different layers from the specific subject of the poem to one's relationship with the natural world. complexity contained in the apparently uncomplicated.
On Saturday, January 19, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (791) wrote:

Ohh wow, poignant perfection, I wish I had your way.with words
On Friday, January 18, 2013, Star (879) wrote:

oh darun this is beautiful in every way possible, i guess you could say it was per.fection (:
A former member wrote: a beautiful write! love love love the imagery and desribtion of love and pureness. truly awesome :D
On Thursday, January 17, 2013, Electric-Chair (121) wrote:

To love someone so perfectly, Awesome write, Beautiful
On Thursday, January 17, 2013, Dei (663) wrote:

Thank you Darun. This was a kindness. Truly. No one's ever said anything so sweet or soft. :) I owe you one.
On Thursday, January 17, 2013, ColorMeToxic (238) wrote:

This piece is incredibly beautiful...the title says it all. Isn't it amazing how we can all see/feel/believe in the same things, yet for each of us perception can be vastly different?
On Thursday, January 17, 2013, Dreaming in Stanzas (293) wrote:

This is so beautiful and tender. I love the use of ellipsis to create pauses. It made me read it aloud to hear how it played out and it made it much more dynamic in my opinion.