how i miss your blood on my mouth
like tempting the fatal thirst of a blade
across that throbbing porcelain dove throat

you attached yourself to my cells
like a cancer,
a place where love stared at the ceiling until dawn's first yawn
while ruthless malice slept peacefully
i'd like to think even you choke on your words,
the boy with bellows for lungs
and a siren fetish

you make discord sound like bliss,
sanctuary like lamb slaughter
death screams that harmonize so beautifully
even the heartless wipe their eyes

but you smiled

Scarlet fingered
And serene
Slithering across the floor
Only to settle on that throne
Of rusted ash and bone
Made a crown out of heartstrings and dandelions
And told yourself it was okay

Playing at pushpin surgeries
Tearing aortas
And stopping valves
Trying in vain to restart your own heart
You braided my spine into painful awareness
That love was never meant to stay beautiful
so we made it into something
Cold and snowy

the grey exhaust of your eyes
hung over my head like a reaper's scythe
i polished them til they shone
until violently my pulse became your voice
you told me you loved me best when my moans sound like sobbing
your grip on my wrists whenever
my focus left you for even a second
scarlet grimaces that you rubbed your scruffy cheek against absentmindedly
as you fantasized about your next doll

how often i mistook your boredom for despair
the trail of candles into your arms as romance,
never my doom
how you always kissed up my skirt and thighs
smug that i didn't hide a knife
yet disappointed in me somehow, too

Your
Pins and needles
Wrapped around my heart like
So many crowns of
Thorn and bramble
Catching drops of my blood between your lips with a smile that never failed to make me feel like
I was the perfect spell
The conduit
For your fractured emotion
Stunted and cold
Your eyes remind me less of indigo
More of ice
Flat blocks floating in the arctic heart
Twisting in your chest
You kissed your realities into my shattered veins
Promising forever
Digging into my arteries
Slow paralytic
Kissing my temples and tibias
Patching cracks with deceit
Tracing my arms with scarlet lullabye.

now numb and alone, i sit inside my fire
knowing that even though stubbornness
binds our tongues and hands,
i am the tamer of the asp
that murmurs against your belly as you sleep
and when you wake with a dry mouth
and a shivering spine, thinking yourself God
my poison is slowly seeping in,
coloring your walking daymares a sick medusa green
that will bring you back to me on your knees

i am at peace knowing this
putting you out of your misery then
would have been merciful, kind

you never looked deep enough into my eyes
or truly realized
what you taught me

It's more satisfying
When they
Beg for an end
And you simply

Walk Away...