I'm tired
Goddammit

Being something
Someone else has bred me to be
Someone elses perfection

Choking on words and wishes
Reeking of self loathing
And regret
I am only
So much of me
Anymore

if
anything at all.


Frozen walls
Are growing thin
Because playing with blow torches
Is like a stupid fascination


Hit me again
Harder
This time

Because i've almost forgotten
What it is to bleed
For a second
And
I
Was almost able to feel
Again

But I am
Weak and stupid
Disgustingly human

Only considering
My own
When others are so much worse


Needlessly narcissistic
I am rolling in
Emotions
To annoying to pay creedance to
And even worse to admit


I am
So much better
Than
Everything

But my patheticism
Is bringing bile
To my throat



I should be better than this.










Unfortunately


I'm not.