The First Attempt
By SilentStalker
Darun Ferguson
Period 3
January 7, 1998
The Encounter
Imagine that you are an innocent person
who happens to be walking to the closest store near your house when you
witness a struggle. Someone is being mugged, and you feel you have to
help. Just as you approach the situation, you notice that the suspect
appears rather odd. His eyes glow with hatred, blood thirst, and even
fear. In his right hand is a sharp, wooden object, with which he is attacking
the victim. You rush to help the man being stabbed, but it appears that
he has been dead for a while, due to his pale complexion. As the murderer
notices you, he plunges the wooden weapon inside the corpse. He stands
up and puts his hand in his right pocket, pulling out a powder that smells
much like garlic. This powder he throws on the dead man. Then he runs
off. When you finally step beside the corpse, it bursts into flames,
forcing you to jump away quickly. Within seconds, all evidence of the
crime is gone.
You contemplate the events of the night as
you forego the store and decide to head back home. Suddenly you see the
murderer, writhing on the ground not far from you. Something in his coat
is harming him, and you see smoke coming from his right pocket. You realize
that his coat is catching fire. Anguish and pain are fully visible on
his face as he pleads you to help him remove his coat. You turn away
in disgust, though, and continue home. Justice, you think to yourself,
is done. The killer has killed himself.
However, the screaming
stops abruptly, rather than dying down slowly. As you hear a cry of pain
and anger from a distance behind you, you have an urge to speed up. You
begin to accelerate when you hear footsteps--running--and they are getting
closer. The fact that danger is present is all too noticeable. You run,
faster and faster, and eventually reach a full sprint, but the footsteps
are catching up. The footsteps are so close you can hear the source of
them breathing.
Suddenly, an arm pushes you into the building
beside you. As you turn around, you see that it is the murderer, but
something is very different about him. Then you realize it--normal human
beings do not have fangs. As you look into his cold, red, glowing eyes,
you can see his dying human side
Almost instantly, he throws
you from the building, and turns away. "Run," he says, his fists clenched
so tightly that his own lifeblood is dripping off his fingers. "Run while
you have the chance."
You run. You run all the way home.
Comments on "The First Attempt"
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A former member wrote:
Darun,
this is just totally awesome.... I haven't read as much on here lately as I'd like to, but I keep coming back to your works... this kept my attention to the end..... awesome, awesome work!!
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A former member wrote:
Great work... You should write longer stories in chapters and post them. This one is amazing though.
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On Saturday, January 9, 2010, Dilated View
(582) wrote:
Killer story. Had me sucked in from the first lines and just kept me going the whole way through. Very much enjoyed.
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A former member wrote:
That was really good, i try making stories up like but can't seem to find the right words.
it should be made into a 5 minute movie. would be great, and thats what i always thought of vampires, right up until the Twilight movie came out. Now, im not such a big fan of them. Great work though really got to me.
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On Sunday, May 28, 2006, Vexed
(74) wrote:
wow....you had my heart racing....I haven't read very many short stories or novels that do that, at least none in a long time....
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On Sunday, July 17, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy
(357) wrote:
yeh this is spooky. The pace of the action is well tuned... sort of speeds up to the climax. Wikked
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On Monday, April 18, 2005, Kinkypoptart
(555) wrote:
wow... I felt as if I were there. You have an awesome way of saying things that puts me right into the picture. ~*~Tart~*~
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On Sunday, November 21, 2004, yslehc
(334) wrote:
alskjda that gave me chills lol......
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A former member wrote:
ooh creepy. I wish it would have kept going. I love stories like this. Nice one ~serpentine~
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A former member wrote:
Very nice write. Im impressed.
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On Friday, April 23, 2004, Mistress Morbid
(405) wrote:
God damn that was chilling...and I love vampires. Well done ::applauds:: -Morb
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On Friday, April 23, 2004, murder_in_clubland
(384) wrote:
wow..imguessing this is about vampires and such? very good i like it ~ss