This is me finally letting you go

By BetaWolfinVA

know what I said now,
and now I realize now that i
made you feel bad things
-
not worth fighting for,
not smart enough to reason
discernment impaired
-
the truth is that i 
think you are smarter than my
wife or ex girl friend
-
after all you left
this man breaking down in tears
bent by years of guilt
-
for a crime that you
don't consider to be one
its just natures way
-
i think of you when
I sleep alone in her bed 
when in morning wake
-
you redefined what
type of woman i go for 
standard of beauty
-
I loved the time we
spent watching shows and timing
texting events, sync
-
i wanted to get
your impression of "twin peaks"
imagery, music
-
I wish that I had
paid for your gold, love so that
could have watched much more
-
the only things I
didn't like about you were...
twenty four hours
-
travel across those
one thousand five hundred miles,
would have been worth it
-
to hold you at night
and sooth away your pain
and raise your children
-
I am going to
get therapy soon as I
can figure out how
-
it's only going  
to tell me what I lost,
what I want to loose,
and what I want to find again.
-
I hope that you will fall for me again
after I get talk therapy and divorce therapy.
-
I do not think that
you will ever change your mind
because of the shame
-
return to me when or if you feel it's right.
the only reason that you were mad at me
is that you have strong feelings for me too,
despite the distance, pain and my stupidity
-
I want to give you all that I can,
right now you just want my absence.
-
I think that I will try to contact
you at the turning of the year.
or after you are the only one
that would put me in jail
-
please don't threaten me until i am sane
jail is no more than i deserve
you weren't the one to break me
you are the reason i want to be whole

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright Tuesday, 30 October, 2012 HHMCameron
Published on Wednesday, January 2, 2013.     Filed under: "Love" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

i realized that my second guess was right, after asking her friends if they knew the reason - what a dumb shit move, god, i hate being broken...maybe i can fix my self through talking
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Comments on "This is me finally letting you go"

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  • A former member wrote: This was a vulnerable write.. you can tell you put your heart into it.. and with some of the humor there your personality shines through.. very much enjoyed.. thanks for sharing!

  • BetaWolfinVA On Monday, February 11, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (791)By person wrote:

    Thank you, I am glad that you liked it :) Scholar

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Thursday, December 27, 2012, TropicalSnowstorm (1580)By person wrote:

    I enjoyed reading this piece - you definitely were being vulnerable with your pain, but I also enjoyed the glimpse of your dark humour in the lines "i wanted to get your impression of "twin peaks"". Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • BetaWolfinVA On Thursday, December 27, 2012, BetaWolfinVA (791)By person wrote:

    Yes that show is darkly humorous... mysterious, and its music hearkens back to an earlier age... too bad it got cancelled before they were able to make an end... wish that the movie was on netflix... Scholar

  • A former member wrote: This poem is really passionate and vulnerable. It's was painful to read really. I hate to see ya so down my friend. Don't let the ladies get to ya, it's all a game really. Universal truth about exes- stay away. Don't let her live on in your mind or writing Scholar

  • BetaWolfinVA On Thursday, December 27, 2012, BetaWolfinVA (791)By person wrote:

    i seam to have moved on from the one that this was about... only to fall into the deep yawning abbys that is the hole in my heart that my first love left al those years ago. Scholar

  • Fallenfromgrace On Tuesday, December 18, 2012, Fallenfromgrace (103)By person wrote:

    This is so deep and the depth and pain is so real that I'm literally sitting here crying. I know that pain and it sucks.. but one of my favorite quotes is " if you always do what you've always done, then you always get what you've always gotten." Thank you for this write.

  • BetaWolfinVA On Tuesday, December 18, 2012, BetaWolfinVA (791)By person wrote:

    i appear to be falling faster since the end of this... what ever it really was... with wolfsbane... now the only reed i think to grab hold of is the one that i cannot, for she doesnae want to step on my wifes toes Scholar

  • PoetessDarkly On Sunday, December 9, 2012, PoetessDarkly (693)By person wrote:

    poetry can be very personal, but the pain shared is almost bittersweet. you have stated your pain eliquently.

  • BetaWolfinVA On Tuesday, December 11, 2012, BetaWolfinVA (791)By person wrote:

    lately... pain is what i have... Scholar

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