"I wanna go home
Take off this uniform
and leave the show.
But I'm waiting in this cell
Because i have to know.
Have I been guilty all this time?" (P.F.)



Even the sun-clouds this morning cannot manage such skirts.
Nor the woman in the ambulance
Whose red heart blooms through her coat so astoundingly --

A gift, a love gift
Utterly unasked for
By a sky

Palely and flamily
Igniting its carbon monoxides, by eyes
Dulled to a halt under bowlers.

O my God, what am I
That these late mouths should cry open
In a forest of frost, in a dawn of cornflowers. (Sylvia Plath)




Mazochism (first version)

I will scratch the cuts you have left on me
till they won't stop bleeding, so that the scars
remind me forever.
Of what was NOT.
Then I will wait till they all run dry
and soak my body in bleach,so that they
can marvel at my pale,snow white skin,
my noble blood
-lessness.
Finally I will cut three limbs off with an axe
and then drag my pure clean torso outside
to dig the soil in the hope of finding you,
my stillborn love.

estherbell's Works

Poetry (Personal)	2008-09-24	Noble mazochism
Rant (Personal)	2008-09-27	A verbal cuddle
Poetry	2008-09-28	Your 6th deadly sin
Poetry (Personal)	2008-09-28	A love full of hate
Poetry	2008-09-29	Roses and rope (just a thought, in memory of Ian Curtis)
Poetry	2008-09-30	A quick desperate Gumtree-ad
Poetry (Personal)	2008-10-01	A drunken rant about heartbreak,vomiting,and an answer to "A".
Poetry (Personal)	2008-10-04	To a Friend who I fell in love with.
Poetry	2008-10-07	I am NEARLY done with you, -as we are done with all eventually.
Poetry	2008-10-27	11 days more of heartbeats
Poetry (Personal)	2008-11-04	It is not really a poem,but I need to write it down.
Poetry (Personal)	2008-11-13	Hospital bed
Poetry (Love)	2008-11-22	The chemistry of pain
Poetry (Personal)	2009-02-15	A clumsy simple confession
Poetry (Personal)	2009-03-10	Another simple confession, with fading colours.

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