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To a Friend who I fell in love with.
By estherbell
We are friends and could never be more, you said.
It was your choice and I had to go with it
accepting your simple truth.
I wish for your hate now,
that would be less painful
than your indifference and lack of love.
So I call you my friend now,saying it aloud
every day
It has become a kind of mantra
to suppress the beating of my love for you.
It is easier now that you flew away.
When you are back in town, we converse,
hang out,get drunk and dance together,
as mates do.
What I noticed though:
I cannot bear looking at you for long,
cannot bear the sight of your
pale northern features,
for fear that if I had really looked
I could never look away again.
And then I would lose you
my Friend.
So I just choose to burn bridges
walk new streets in new towns
and shag strangers in dark rooms
with your image behind my
closed eyes.
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2008 estherbell
Comments on "To a Friend who I fell in love with."
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On Tuesday, October 21, 2008, Stranger
(264)
wrote:
This is as real is gets. Like falling down on pavement. You have an uncanny ability to be honest about your pain without being indulgent or self-deprecating.
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On Saturday, October 11, 2008, skully
(43) wrote:
I'm moved. This really touched me in the sublest of ways. First 'cos I've been there,..wanting what I can't have- loving friends too much.Trying to replace that ache with meaningless fucks ad infintum. Plus your down to earth way with words is touching. Long comment I know but you touched a nerve, thanks x
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A former member wrote:
The courage shown by your actions in taking on afriendship with one that you love as more; only adds value to your character, .. it takes an advanced soul to dance with the devil that parades your heart...your a keeper.
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On Tuesday, October 7, 2008, Sketso
(435) wrote:
... I... good god.
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On Tuesday, October 7, 2008, Alanarchy
(1200) wrote:
I read this the other day, and couldn't comment. You've come as close as I could have. It's been a long time since a poem as has reduced me to tears.
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On Sunday, October 5, 2008, Mirage
(1) wrote:
Omfg. I was in tears reading this. This is the story of my life. I've never written a poem about it becuz its just hurts so much to recall those events. This is absolutely beautiful.
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On Sunday, October 5, 2008, Aleas
(171) wrote:
Paved the way, I feel the same. One day, though, we'll open our eyes to a new face to dream about, without the burden of a love lost hanging over our shoulder. That chip will fall, and on that day we'll feel lighter than air. One day...
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On Sunday, October 5, 2008, thelostmessenger
(112) wrote:
yepp. i definately have one of these friends. you told the story of such heartbreak incredibley.
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On Sunday, October 5, 2008, freudian-slip
(239) wrote:
shagalicious... lol
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On Saturday, October 4, 2008, Leith Plunkett
(239) wrote:
Very visual. (walk new streets in new towns and shag strangers in dark rooms with your image behind my closed eyes). I hated these feeling you conjured, but love the words :-)
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A former member wrote:
my heart hurts reading this. so heavy therein my empty chest. am currenty going through te samething. same exact thing. only it was my fault. *huggles, lollys youa smile*
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On Saturday, October 4, 2008, estherbell
(53) wrote:
thank you!how can it be anyone's fault though..?
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A former member wrote:
i was the one who prounced 'friend' first. stupid stupid girl i am. never wanted that, just didnt know how to say it. grrr, its a long and winding road, but now i gotta travel it. welcome to dp, ^_^
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