The chemistry of pain

The day you left, all melodies were gone
Like your scent, or happiness.
I longed for winter that day,
for white and silent snowfields
to cover my face, numb my fingers.

The day my tears dried, I walked to the city,
Looking for your image in the bleak sea,
not noticing strangers, for finding it
unbearable to see any other faces than yours.
The sky wept for me.

Far up, seagulls were floating, their shriek
echoing my pain.I longed to be one of them.
Instead, I swallowed my shriek, let it burn
my throat and leave invisible holes
in all the hidden places.

So this is it.It is what the world has become.
A forever changing scenery of my senses,
sounds and sights of loss and strange hope,
entirely at home in me, in how I walk and breathe,
in my shape, my nerves, my membranes and cells.

The chemistry of pain, my love for you.