MENE, MENE, TEKEL (Three first dates)
By TropicalSnowstorm
Weighed, measured and found to be lacking, but I’m
still in the game like a shortstop dreaming of a touchdown.
…and she even looks hot when she eats chicken,
which is just one of several things I think, but don’t say
as I hope a magic starfish can swim by and point out
where the currents flow toward the center of her being.
If only our eyeballs could float from socket to socket
like hummingbirds I could see myself as she does.
…while I find myself temporarily paranoid she is psychic
and can tell I am wondering if her bra matches her panties,
although not in a perverted way, rather I think it might reveal
something of her organization and attention to detail.
Like obstacles in a Steeple Chase, I recall lapses in morality
about which I am ashamed, but nonetheless remember fondly.
…still the way she talks over the martini in front of her, eyes
flickering like a candle between angel and antichrist, makes me
wonder whether she’d rather kiss me or rip my throat out, and
I hope tonight I won’t have to settle for some barren middle ground.
-- by Steve McKennon, 10/13/06
Awards
Comments on "MENE, MENE, TEKEL (Three first dates)"
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On Saturday, January 28, 2017, dwells
(4177) wrote:
The title and opening mixed metaphors were stupendous TS. Seems like that graffiti is always on the wall after a while... A lonely missive of missed opportunity maybe - cheers! - Dan
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A former member wrote:
I enjoyed the attention to so many small details, and I think that if you find the small things beautiful that is time to consider that you might just be in love.
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On Friday, April 13, 2007, capt_funguy
(777) wrote:
i fascinate at your way with these ... you're the unintentional hero in this.. has a deepest darkest africa safari feel to it... the great hunt for the most challenging of game ...
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On Friday, April 13, 2007, capt_funguy
(777) wrote:
love the adventure unspoiled by any kind of ending ... wonderful write .... funguy
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On Tuesday, February 6, 2007, jack paper
(121) wrote:
the things that go through our minds.. this is wry and so real.... eyes a flickering candle.. excellent just excellent
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On Monday, January 29, 2007, Mylissa
(825) wrote:
Perfect write. So different then what I have read before. Wonderful.
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On Friday, November 17, 2006, flying_fox
(571) wrote:
I admire the way you are able to seemingly write in a casual vernacular 'she even looks hot eating chicken' with such individual and creative prose that makes my heart sing "like obstacles in a steeple chase, I recall lapses in morality,'. Last line blew
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On Friday, November 17, 2006, flying_fox
(571) wrote:
me away. T/S, you rock my socks off. Fox xx. PS: love the pic on the camel.
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On Thursday, October 26, 2006, CharlottesWeb
(509) wrote:
I am completely transfixed by the tones...the calm and steady, detailed and consistent lines of melting thought. This entire peice settles me...prompts a deep breath and a relaxed smile...Beautiful art.
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On Wednesday, October 18, 2006, Carmina Gitana
(149) wrote:
I love how detailed it is, the poem really puts the reader into your head. It's sweet and thoughtful and somehow gentle, as a love poem. Also enjoyed the humor here :)
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On Tuesday, October 17, 2006, Jonas
(715) wrote:
the final line brought a wry smile to my lips...
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A former member wrote:
There is just something special and interesting about another person's experiences in such high-tension and slightly nerve-wracking moments.. you capture the details & sensations, in a physical arena, and somewhere in between getting to know the other..
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A former member wrote:
in style, mannerisms and expressions.. in every way possible.. this is so good!
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On Friday, October 13, 2006, elisa
(1595) wrote:
i love the play-by-play insight.....this put a smile on my face....soft and sweet words.
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On Friday, October 13, 2006, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
i couldn't stop the slow impish grin this gave me as i read it, so many thoughts and reflections of my own creeping in in the background... but it made me smile most because the way you always make things so tangable and honest....
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On Friday, October 13, 2006, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
..with your words, and a pleasure to read your work... the second stanza added a softness while the last lines seemed to catch perfect the maddening anticipation of what might come next... always a joy to read you sir