Riding the Waves Again

Once again riding
the waves with neither ocean
nor lake in my sight
hypoglycemic seizures
waking me some nights at three
.
happiness is found
only with nineteenmonth old
in arms as i wait
for them to be long enough
to cuddle my wife again
.
six months grace ended
leaving us without her job
money, happiness
as she has been looking since
january daycare
.
does "raven" lurk in
the back of my mind because
of diabeties
causing depression
when i should be so happy
.
or because i was
loved for getting cigarettes
and giving control
to a woman ten years my
junior, but so much wiser