You would  think that i would be happy 
i have what most men want

i have a woman that pretends to love me
and  a job that gives me pride

a job i don't deserve because I did 
believe my first loves's lies 

the shame of it does keep dragging me under

a woman i don't think i want to stay with
because i fell for a woman far away

some nights i drink a little to dull the pain
truly just glass here or there

but its becoming more, to be closer to her
think of her in morning 
think of her at night
wish that i hadn't messed up