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Friday Night Silver
By lupus tenebrae
The bold glimmer
of a Friday night silver
dwarfs the gibbous moon
by slivers, while a far-
off fight song rages
and bleachers rattle
like loose cages
buckling under the
pressure, then breaking
at their own leisure
as if stricken feeble
by the now electric
atmosphere: by a
swelling storm that I'd
seen form then have
the gall to disappear.
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2014 lupus tenebrae
Author's Note:
Probably the closest I've ever gotten to a football-related poem that doesn't sound cringe-worthy.Comments on "Friday Night Silver"
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A former member wrote:
Honestly, I had no idea it was about football when I first read this. However, I really enjoyed it and took it to some dark places. I was thinking of murder and dead end thoughts. I think it's cool.
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On Sunday, December 7, 2014, Jonas
(720)
wrote:
I find your commentary on your own work delightfully apt. I gathered that this was plotted along the lines of a highschool football game... and that's rather common, but you transcended the common to find the thread buried in the banal that carries the current of life. I very much enjoyed this piece. I honestly think that you could stand to polish your use of language just a touch... some of the word choices seemed rhythmically off... but that's ok continued practicde will smooth things like that over in time.
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On Sunday, December 7, 2014, lupus tenebrae
(872) wrote:
Usually I'm pretty anal about rhythm, but I was a bit more lax with this piece, in retrospect, it honestly seems unwieldly, and as such...I almost hadn't posted it here at all. Luckily, it's only a one-off experiment, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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