This fire is out of control


Burn aside all doubt
and let these thoughts out
like a bloodied abortion
spilt on the white of this page
Like a lion pacing in his cage
a truth trapped in distortion
Burn these walls down
with the raging inferno I possess within
Time and again I fail to grab
this slab and stab my sins
Instead I hide my intent behind a grin
and a mask any can penetrate
I make an open target in a world full of hate
Like Christ I carry my cross
for any and all to see
The cost I pay for me to be Me

i approach this river of deciet
and haven't enough to pay
so i barter with the ferryman
giving an ounce of flesh
deja vu/lnerable i will repeat
steps taken with yesterday
at my back hoping tomorrow can
become seen through a mesh
transparent net
trapping me
into selfitting
submission

I lay awake at night, restless
Unable to walk this line behind my eyes
wishing for the sun to rise
I speed through each day, breathless
buried in distraction to keep myself numb
waiting for the night to come
Sometimes, I haven't the strength to fight
Sometimes, I forfeit the battle of wrong and right
Sometimes, I lose sight of my goals
and sometimes, I lose control
my black hole of a soul devours
what I once saw as truth, every waking hour
Questioning Authority, and all that I know
for, painful but true, it's the only way to grow

growing like a chip off a block
of moldy swiss cheese
i awake in puddles of swEAT all
parts of myself i refuse
to fly and join this mangled flock
going against the breeze
on winds of denial i'll crawl
out from my heart's bruise
self inflicted
abrasions
wounding
selfight

....bloody. so bloody
what's happened to me?
where's the person I intended to be?
This life has become a mockery
of the dreams I continue to possess
like a heart beating in a shattered chest
I confess.... I'm broken
My defences shattered, my fotress opened
and looted by the Enemy
whose face reminds me of Me

these chains enslaving me
dig into my skin
I'm sick. I'm tired.
I refuse to pretend again
I dissect this flesh
every cursed hour
I'm screaming. I'm crying.
Never again will I cower
Innocence raped from me
Fallen from a Golden Perch
sodomize me with your crooked cross
from the safety of your Church
What am I supposed to do?
What the fuck is this?!
Who the fuck are you?!
I don't even exist!!

drifting into oblivious torment
i scale the burnt bricks
of sin i destroyed in the process
of discovering myself
they crumble with my steps intent
like fresh snow that sticks
on the tip of my tounge,i digest
pride,removing it from the shelf
wobbling
with age
cracked
from weather

whether or not,i beg to differ
but good it does none
considering only one can judge
and he definitely isn't me
see,this picture really is bigger
but we as mortals shun
fantasy and reality that won't budge
wandering minds that flee
truth's
perception
honesty
and obviousness

The world spins ever on
As ever we run in cycles
Freedom and Equality are gone
Our voices have been stifled
The greedy shall ever rule
as ever we are stood upon
by murderers and fools
and right gives way to wrong
In History is a lesson
so study Ancient Scriptures
Learn the mistakes we've made
and grasp the bigger picture
We've been brain-washed
Seduced by our own desires
Indeed all is lost
If we continue to believe liars

This fire is out of control