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Dove (falling feathers)
By OLd SouL
...I don't want to be the one that hurts you
the fragile
bone structure of a feather
bend)ing... flut-tering
in my dry
ice exhalation
dip the tip
in a jar full
of liquid
persuasions...
and
draw me a picture
...of the
darkest cor n er
in your heart
I'd fight your nightmares
in my dreams
if the morning hour
would be brighter for you
-but-
don't ask me
to
love
you
your heart
is not for me to break
its a beautiful thing to watch a dove
on a wire
...something I would die to touch
to know what it
feels like to feel...
...to feel her
But my hands are
[cages]
they belong to these words
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 OLd SouL
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Comments on "Dove (falling feathers)"
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More comments:
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On Thursday, July 11, 2024, NikesRain
(1240)
wrote:
I am leaving this last, although this will be with me always. Wherever you are, just one last sigh and wishing you well.
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On Thursday, October 8, 2020, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
I have no words. My heart broke when this went into hiding and now, here it is. Thank you so...
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On Saturday, June 20, 2020, sIo
(898) wrote:
YAY ITS BACK
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On Thursday, February 20, 2020, blue
(1409) wrote:
ya know,.. I miss the old days. :) ~b
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On Monday, June 11, 2018, Drea
(1388) wrote:
Your words... I will always love them. I'm beyond happy to see you pop back in.
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On Monday, June 11, 2018, OLd SouL
(717) wrote:
It's back for Nikes, if she ever comes around this way.
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A former member wrote:
absolutely beautiful piece :)
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A former member wrote:
Dude....this chokes the breath out of me. Astounding.
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On Friday, March 4, 2011, MyScarletLetter
(6) wrote:
oh wow...I love this. The way you wrote it feels delicate and feather-light, yet so deep. Wonderful work.
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A former member wrote:
Wow. This peice of work (amazing work) is one of the most-commented-on i've seen so far coodo's!
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A former member wrote:
Beautifully composed....these words sing so true in so many ways....captivating and honest. Great work!
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On Thursday, January 13, 2011, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
*hugs* miss your writing hun
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On Thursday, April 15, 2010, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
yep i still read this and the thoughts are still the same... -big little bear hugs to you hun
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On Sunday, October 12, 2008, sanglante
(16) wrote:
Brilliantly beautiful. No other words to describe it.. -tomb.
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On Tuesday, February 20, 2007, prettydisgrace
(93) wrote:
lovely lovely
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On Monday, September 11, 2006, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
♥ *smilesighs & huge little bear hugs* yes yes i know, again, but well.... you can tell me stop once again but you know i just can't....... love ya big bear
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A former member wrote:
This is probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.
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On Saturday, July 22, 2006, xserratedsoulx
(212) wrote:
love that last line. really, really, LOVE it.
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On Wednesday, December 7, 2005, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
i can't stay away from this, i think i'd get it tattooed on me if i could...*sigh* it's engraved into my heart already...
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On Sunday, March 12, 2006, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
today i needed this, today i wanted to be selfish and get lost a bit within beautiful words, today i had to ... and hope you would forgive me
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On Monday, December 5, 2005, glasshouse
(530) wrote:
*sigh* I always come back to this, Oldie. I will never forget this poem and its impact. You are amazing. Simply amazing. I cannot do you justice. -Glass
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A former member wrote:
absoultely stunning write! beautiful style and metere...congrats.
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On Thursday, June 2, 2005, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
*hugs you tight* you are truly outstanding and this is eternally beautiful like your soul
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On Monday, October 24, 2005, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
damn this gets me every time, tears and melting at the same time.... stunning
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On Tuesday, May 24, 2005, BoldSolitude
(214) wrote:
I re-read this and I must comment again. I like the style you write in that makes your writting a bit mystical and yet you get the meaning without completely understanding it at first.
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On Tuesday, May 24, 2005, BoldSolitude
(214) wrote:
Like this, after revisiting it I comprehend it even more than I initially did. The feather pen and ink persuasions and how we are limited to expression by use of words, esentially enslaved.
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On Tuesday, May 3, 2005, Kinkypoptart
(555) wrote:
Oh my goodness. You never cease to amaze me with your words and they always make my jaw drop *picks up jaw* Painfully true, this poem is. Great write ~*~Tart~*~
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On Thursday, February 10, 2005, Elise
(187) wrote:
Wow, how did I miss this? This was breathtaking. I loved every moment of reading this Oldie, you're awesome! *bear hugs*
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On Monday, February 7, 2005, Malice In Wonderland
(976) wrote:
Oh christ...there's too many parts I loved...this strikes many chords...I'm just not able to find accurate words to voice them, wonderful work, Oldie.
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On Monday, January 24, 2005, flying_fox
(571) wrote:
I just read this again... and fell in love with you. Again. This is pure magic.
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On Sunday, January 23, 2005, ShardsofSilence
(219) wrote:
simply amazing...such vivid imagery. i loved every bit of it. it gave me goosebumps. awesome work. really is a great piece
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On Monday, January 17, 2005, stormtalk
(727) wrote:
I'll add my voice to the list below and say, "incredible work." "My hands are cages/ they belong to these words" was particularly striking. I still think I have a fetish for the ends of writes; it's always the most powerful part. Great job.
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On Saturday, January 8, 2005, Rone4611
(121) wrote:
*shivers and twitches slightly...* *looks at the work before me and sighs sadly*
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On Monday, January 3, 2005, BoldSolitude
(214) wrote:
Such vivid imagery in this piece. I really enjoyed it, especially the poignant "But my hands are cages" The entire piece was a wonderful use of words and imagery to reveal the depth of the desperation.
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On Friday, January 7, 2005, BoldSolitude
(214) wrote:
I also really liked "but, don't ask me to love you, your heart is not for me to break"
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A former member wrote:
This is truly something that touched my soul...I love it!
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On Thursday, December 9, 2004, urbanhumility
(1158) wrote:
the last two lines strike blood.........well done..........urban
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A former member wrote:
Wow...how is it I haven't commented on this? I guess I'll join the party of comments. I feel this deeply. I want to quote so many lines of this. So many visions come to mind.
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A former member wrote:
"...and I don't want to be the one that hurts you; the fragile bone structure of a feather; bend)ing... flut-tering
in my dry ice exhalation" I see complete enrapturement (is that a word?)
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A former member wrote:
2nd stanza: placing you in her heart but in the furthest recesses. 3rd stanza: as you would be everything to her that you could but there was one thing you couldn't give.
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A former member wrote:
The realization in this poem is heart-aching. Aren't most of us cages, trapping the beautiful so that we might just see, just touch for a moment on that beauty...and yet, the beauty would be marred forever.
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On Tuesday, December 7, 2004, Railway_Butterfly
(353) wrote:
I can't help myself coming back to read this piece again and again...I just love it,but I could never find the words to do this justice...'...and I don't want to be the one that hurts you' *sighs*
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A former member wrote:
i'd fight your nightmares in my dreams...what an intense statement. absolutely dripping with depth.
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A former member wrote:
"the fragile bone structure of a feather
bend)ing... flut-tering
in my dry ice exhalation" This poem feels lovely; soft, like silk. Very well crafted in form [wonderful last line]. -bravo.
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On Friday, November 12, 2004, sIo
(898) wrote:
this truly is an amazing piece.
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