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Capsized SouL
By OLd SouL
A hundred rhinos crash into the sea
they parade and drown in hollow
waters
super novas dance on the crests
forever mourning a fool's
wake
I crumble to the beach to perfect a sand angel
and wait for my message in a bottle
and time ebbs and flows
to minutes of the waves
as I stare at the moon
staring
back at me
there is no sudden realization
the rhinos
are part of the black mirage
and every star takes a bite
out
of my capsized soul
I breathe echos into sails
just
to stay afloat
I always sink
when my heart takes the helm
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Copyright 2004 OLd SouL
Published on Thursday, January 29, 2004.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Awards
Comments on "Capsized SouL"
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More comments:
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On Sunday, March 10, 2024, Drea
(1388)
wrote:
I will always make my way back here. You are missed.
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On Sunday, July 30, 2017, Mute Serenade
(389) wrote:
I come back from time to time and marvel at how much I miss you... what beauty in your words.
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On Monday, June 11, 2018, OLd SouL
(717) wrote:
It's pretty amazing to me that you still remember :) Miss you, too.
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On Sunday, February 21, 2016, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
As like Drea... I come back to this (as you took away the 'doves') and reflect often, missing your work and words and overall the person behind them.
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On Monday, June 11, 2018, OLd SouL
(717) wrote:
It's back.
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On Monday, February 1, 2016, Drea
(1388) wrote:
I miss you! I come back to this every so often just to remember. I know it won't happen, but I wish you'd pop back in. Even briefly.
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A former member wrote:
Such gorgeous rhinos. Most certainly earned POTD. A beautiful read. "I breathe echoes into sails" is such a vivid line. It'll stick in my head for a while. Thanks for sharing this.
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On Friday, August 10, 2012, Ortolan
(214) wrote:
Too bad to leave, you have talent.Peace, nice work by the way.
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On Friday, May 11, 2012, ruthless48
(172) wrote:
i wish your poem title to be my only epitath~truly taken into the deep~ thank you
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On Friday, May 4, 2012, Dominic
(53) wrote:
Exquisite. Good work.
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On Tuesday, October 4, 2005, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
each time i read a piece of yours it seems to seep it so easily, images feelings, everything....this is so vivid and filled with so much to break the heart... superb as always
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On Tuesday, October 4, 2005, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
p.s. miss you and hope you're well
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A former member wrote:
your popularity for many years. Timeless, Old, sincerely. ~ Rose
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A former member wrote:
thought I had discovered such beauty and now I share in it's guilt for after reading this I am left only to hope that I may be caressed in such a way again. I notice how abundantly exquisite you seem to others, and I can assure you that you will retain yo
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A former member wrote:
Beautifully nochalant, budding and fanciful. As softening and whimsical as a red rose frothed in the dew of morn - "A hundred rhinos crash into the sea
they parade and drown in hollow waters/ I breathe echos into sails
just to stay afloat". O, I thoug
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On Sunday, November 14, 2004, Shadow Fox
(20) wrote:
great work old. i could actully picture it as i read it excellent. ~Fox
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On Thursday, September 9, 2004, knightmirror
(426) wrote:
holy mackarel this is grrrrrreat.you know what i have to do,i do..****-knight...btw *standing ovation*
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A former member wrote:
I like it. Its got great visualality to it...If thats even a word. I could really picture you descriptions. â€
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A former member wrote:
i love your work..this was great
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On Friday, May 14, 2004, Mr King
(547) wrote:
beautifully sad... ironically poignant... the tragedy always balanced with the victory?... a tragic comedy of suffering... or can we rise forever?... slowly... gracefully...?
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On Friday, May 14, 2004, Mr King
(547) wrote:
can a soul choose to stay young and never grow old...
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On Friday, May 14, 2004, Mr King
(547) wrote:
?
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On Monday, April 26, 2004, Mute Serenade
(389) wrote:
you're a great honorable rarity. I hold you on the high ledge of DP-ers, along with a select few. Your work is impenetrable, never to find a flaw. I wish my words could do some justice.-Sue
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On Monday, April 19, 2004, urbanhumility
(1158) wrote:
this is friggin fantastic, "i breath echos into sails" brilliant well done my friend, an encapsulated dispair, poetry incarnate........urban
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On Wednesday, April 14, 2004, Crystal Passion
(221) wrote:
* posts a sign on you profile that says "wisdom dwells here" *
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On Wednesday, March 24, 2004, sulkylime
(191) wrote:
you know i bookmarked this poem but i still have nothing to say about it because im always speechless.
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On Tuesday, March 23, 2004, girlafraid
(479) wrote:
i can't pick the line i like best...this is just perfection...impressive work...*afraid*
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On Thursday, March 18, 2004, Mistress Morbid
(405) wrote:
How you got that to fit, I am not sure, but you make it look so easy. =) Morb
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On Thursday, March 4, 2004, BoldSolitude
(214) wrote:
I enjoyed the whole poem but I really like the last verse. Great metaphor. Keep up the good work.
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On Monday, March 1, 2004, WinterGrave
(258) wrote:
wonderful read, vary nice.~~~Grave
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A former member wrote:
And the last stanza pretty much sums up my life. I love it...love it love it love it! The description is wonderful and perfectly chosen words.
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On Monday, February 16, 2004, Storm
(143) wrote:
Your imagination is amazing, you find new ways to describe everything. I love that about you. This poem felt true, whenever hearts are at command it's bound to end at the bottom of the sea... sad. ~S
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A former member wrote:
Impressive indeed. +T.P.U+
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On Tuesday, February 3, 2004, Ophelia
(221) wrote:
there is so much of this that is so touchable(couldn't think of a better word)beautiful, , , , , ,O.
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On Tuesday, February 3, 2004, Dancing_Monkey
(1228) wrote:
I crumble to the beach to perfect a sand angel and wait for my message in a bottle .. simply the best metaphors evr.. :O) I love it, you allways take my mind a step further ..
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A former member wrote:
Damn man you never cease to amaze me. Not a single wasted line and too many greats in this to praise just one. Awsome. ~Ship!
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On Sunday, February 1, 2004, flying_fox
(571) wrote:
the last stanza really ties it all together beautifully. Great imagery, I loved reading this. FF
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On Saturday, January 31, 2004, maddin foxxxy
(358) wrote:
I see all these images and metaphors you describe, but mostly I feel this peace and release after reading this...perfect description of what you are feeling and developing in your mind.
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On Friday, January 30, 2004, purr_verse
(1052) wrote:
"they parade and drown in hollow waters" is especially lovely, but the whole piece is wonderful. the ending is fabulous. :) purr
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On Thursday, January 29, 2004, Drifter
(265) wrote:
Very impressed... Third stanza rocks.
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On Thursday, January 29, 2004, Recycled
(93) wrote:
Yep. You are elite. Now start posting more often.
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