time of [absence]

I love him...
my thoughts end at the noises that stir up memories of him
aflame is the light of a far-flung season; my soul sleeps inside a smirk
I revisit myself…
I return to the misery of days that flashed though my eyes
while holding you
I bring myself to you, a statuette of a being
I want to cry!

my mind is made up of splinters of dreams,
coupled together like rags of a made-up spirit
dreams that replicate inside each other
dreams that bring forth wishes unmade
on the arms of a night, stars sleep serene
just if…
if I was different, resembling what people talk about in movies
I would like to be different…
and I slapped it on my own face, I can’t be different
no love can be this cursed,
no thought can be this troubled…
while the sunrise comes hauntingly
everything is a sad awakening, a lost thought that reminds itself
a loss, a canyon without a bottom, without a crater
my awakening…
without you!

I supply myself on dreams
I pull them by the hair, break their bones
and grasp the light that diffuses your hallucinating love

a soothing love…
your love is stuck here, close to my stomach, like a foreign mass

the love I love!
…and the absence!

I would like to forget…
what I wanted…
but I can not
my frightened soul is hiding itself

I sleep…
possibly eternally…
while loving you!