.

While I sleep, my dreams carve out images

of an unwanted soul upon the insides of my eyelids.

You are still here

but you do not love me.

You never wanted me.

Razor blades carving the fascia from the insides of my ribcage would be kinder.

You made me think that I could have a chance

at love.

There is no moment when I can breathe.

You are lost to me,

and I am lost to myself.

You touched me.

You shared your dreams.

You shared your visions of the future.

You gazed into my eyes with what looked like unmistakable love.

I gave you what you asked for.

My mistake.

To believe

To hope

It was beyond my power to not fall in love with you.

This kind of love is everlasting

pain.

It has been five years. You are still in my dreams.

When I awaken it is with the awful shock of a continuing nightmare

As reality re-weaves it's sadistic hold upon my life.

There is no escape.

Was I weak in your eyes

Because I cried when you said never?

That was when I was introduced to this world

Without You.




.