toast [to never] whenever that may be

'to tears.to life.to die'



we're hopeless. and I can't dance when my feet won't move.
and it feels like I'm bolted to the ground.
without wings to be torn. I was a failure from the start.

when living seems to become cliche.
and everyone is screaming at me- hope. just hope.
I want to break their words with my silence.
and in hindsight it seems.
I'm a little more than lost. wandering.
maybe I should set up camp.

just face this fucking emptiness.
all I ever wanted was to walk without crutches.
and write myself an afterlife.
and it seems I can't do anything right.


cheers.
toast to broken backs and nights in cold beds.
no more voices whispering in my ear.
that it's ok. it's all ok.
because it's never ok.
and it's too easy to see through the lies.
it's far too easy fall.
when you're walking on ice.
watching your dreams underneath your feet.
afraid to stomp. you've killed them.

and I'd rather dream than stop breathing.
but the two seem to go hand in hand. on days like this.
asphyxiation. choke these beliefs.
because hope is just another four letter word.
and futile seems more fitting.


my head is pounding.. and I want to break my hands.
maybe they'll stop making these words hurt so much.