SCIENCE NEWS... why men like boobs

By TheBardOfBlasphemy

We've known about it since time began... even before the hair started falling off of them about five million years ago. Men like boobs. Boys like tits. Fags like buttsex. More on that later.

Now scientists have discovered genetic data to back up the man-boob theory. It's called the Y-chromosome and the implications are that whoever has one really badly wants to grope, stroke, squeeze and fondle those sweet succulent boobies until the sticky white stuff squirts into my underpants and makes me want to start doing my own laundry for no reason in particular, thanks mum.

The scientists' "thorns in the (back)side" of this theory are the afore-mentioned butt-jabbing boys who have Y-chromosomes but seem to deny their inherent boob-cravings.

Scientists have postulated that this conundrum is due to external environmental factors such as:
1. Being dropped on their heads as babies
2. Being forced to play with Barbie dolls (tm)
3. Not watching Rambo (tm) as a kid, and instead watching faggy crap like Mary Poppins (tm)
4. Being fed lies like "Hey, girls have rights too, you know..."

Needless to say, we scientists here at Blasphemedia will continue our arduous and time consuming research* into this matter.

























* - Research may or may not involve staring at copious amounts of porn.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
A Blasphemedia Production
Published on Monday, August 8, 2005.     Filed under: "Comedy" and
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Comments on "SCIENCE NEWS... why men like boobs"

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  • A former member wrote: hahahahaha so funny!

  • Shortnlethal On Friday, April 17, 2009, Shortnlethal (65)By person wrote:

    lol funny thing..it's true!

  • Mari On Monday, October 29, 2007, Mari (419)By person wrote:

    funny.

  • WinterGrave On Tuesday, January 2, 2007, WinterGrave (258)By person wrote:

    lol, i spell good

  • WinterGrave On Tuesday, January 2, 2007, WinterGrave (258)By person wrote:

    wow, that was funny. reading everyone eslses comments was funny to.lol.~~~Grave

  • Dei On Thursday, June 8, 2006, Dei (663)By person wrote:

    wow.... time in my life i can never get back...

  • shadowsinthelight On Friday, October 14, 2005, shadowsinthelight (146)By person wrote:

    "Why did God give women boobs?"....."It gives men something to look at while women are talking." Peter Griffen

  • elisa On Friday, October 14, 2005, elisa (1595)By person wrote:

    The Socrates of Stewie Lane..........truly the Phat Bastard of Philosophy;) heh heh heh heh heh heh

  • shadowsinthelight On Friday, October 14, 2005, shadowsinthelight (146)By person wrote:

    "I must be an ass-man, because all my friends keep telling me, 'You are an ass, man.'" Rodney Dangerfield

  • Nail Bunny On Friday, October 14, 2005, Nail Bunny (161)By person wrote:

    that's fucking hilarious, amazing. Ps.-if you need help with the "reserch"...

  • AHHH On Monday, October 3, 2005, AHHH (184)By person wrote:

    1, 2, 3, 4, what awful awful things these are. i feel bad for those who these have happened to.

  • Mahakala On Saturday, August 27, 2005, Mahakala (207)By person wrote:

    hahaha funny....had a good laugh and enjoyed it very much....

  • TheBardOfBlasphemy On Saturday, August 27, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (357)By person wrote:

    This page is not an open forum to debate the topic of groups being degraded by me. Any more pointless comments will be deleted.

  • elisa On Saturday, August 27, 2005, elisa (1595)By person wrote:

    lol.....i'm roll'n AND my side hurts.......i love a good 'Fuck it' way to be;)

  • ApathysKiss On Saturday, August 27, 2005, ApathysKiss (377)By person wrote:

    lmao

  • TheBardOfBlasphemy On Saturday, August 27, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (357)By person wrote:

    Homosexuals may or may not find this offensive. If they do... tough. There's a lot of stuff being posted that certain people might find offensive. No-one's forcing anyone to read anything.

  • Liz On Friday, August 26, 2005, Liz (265)By person wrote:

    I really dislike the fact that you have to bash homosexuals in order to prove the your point that women's bodies are objects. Can't you stick to degrading just one group?

  • elisa On Saturday, August 27, 2005, elisa (1595)By person wrote:

    'Fags like buttsex'....he's right, which is why gay guys bash women ALL the time...women are their competition so they act like two-faced assholes when they get jealous by picking at womens self esteem.

  • TheBardOfBlasphemy On Friday, August 26, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (357)By person wrote:

    actually, i would contend that the only group i have degraded by writing this article is myself. Screw the fags... other boys do.

  • stormtalk On Saturday, August 27, 2005, stormtalk (727)By person wrote:

    gays and women are basically the same thing, so he actually did stick to one group... hmmm bard, does that make you gay?

  • stormtalk On Saturday, August 27, 2005, stormtalk (727)By person wrote:

    p.s. anyone who takes me seriously has downe syndrome

  • elisa On Saturday, August 27, 2005, elisa (1595)By person wrote:

    lol...down syndrome....but women and gays are not 'alike'.....women ARE women...gays are just doing a VERY bad imitation of a women on PMS flapping around like a fish out of water......it's insulting...they have women envy:)

  • Grim_Sorrow On Tuesday, August 23, 2005, Grim_Sorrow (74)By person wrote:

    lol... whatever man... I fail to understand this interest in a womans mamory's

  • l mo On Friday, August 19, 2005, l mo (55)By person wrote:

    And this is the conclusion I have come to -- All men are perverted perverts.

  • l mo On Friday, August 19, 2005, l mo (55)By person wrote:

    wow, i just noticed how dumb that sounds "perverted perverts". lets just say you can take your pick out of the two....

  • stormtalk On Saturday, August 27, 2005, stormtalk (727)By person wrote:

    'perverted' is one of those words like 'unnatural' that actually means pretty much nothing

  • TheBardOfBlasphemy On Saturday, August 20, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (357)By person wrote:

    haha... and just look at how many LOVED reading this... i rest my case (and somehow prove yours simultaneously)

  • Lotophagi On Friday, August 19, 2005, Lotophagi (333)By person wrote:

    *realisation dawns* lol, good luck with further research, I wish you fruitful results and neverending questions to ensure a long future in this field of questioning.

  • SilentStalker On Sunday, August 14, 2005, SilentStalker (1047)By person wrote:

    ...after many years of walking the streets and searching the internet, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a breast-man...my eyes tend to focus on the waist level... Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Sunday, August 14, 2005, SilentStalker (1047)By person wrote:

    ...not that I wouldn't stare if they happened to be showing; I just wouldn't stare as long as most other guys would... Scholar

  • stormtalk On Saturday, August 27, 2005, stormtalk (727)By person wrote:

    homo

  • TheBardOfBlasphemy On Saturday, August 27, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (357)By person wrote:

    lol

  • elisa On Saturday, August 27, 2005, elisa (1595)By person wrote:

    lol

  • ONEANDLONELY On Sunday, August 14, 2005, ONEANDLONELY (114)By person wrote:

    Lest we not forget: legs, ass, _ussy.

  • A former member wrote: meh..boobs is for babies...further proof men are big babies...

  • NikesRain On Monday, August 22, 2005, NikesRain (1240)By person wrote:

    lmao excellent assessment

  • A former member wrote: whats boobs?

  • elisa On Monday, August 8, 2005, elisa (1595)By person wrote:

    a sweet rack is the gift that keeps on given.....*looks down at sweet rack*.........yup;) ~oo~

  • Drea On Monday, August 8, 2005, Drea (1388)By person wrote:

    I'm a chick and I love boobs. mmmmmboobs

  • Malice In Wonderland On Thursday, August 11, 2005, Malice In Wonderland (976)By person wrote:

    hell yes. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: ...mary poppins was a drug-culture subliminal messaging hype, and it was the shit in its own right.... rambo fucking sucked, bro.... keep it original with the old school war stories.... but with all this said, i love tits like a fat kid loves oreo cookies Scholar

  • A former member wrote: hooray for boobies? Scholar

  • ApathysKiss On Monday, August 8, 2005, ApathysKiss (377)By person wrote:

    hahahahahahahaha, bard, is this really true? which new scientist issue was this from hahahaha. Being fed lies like "Hey, girls have rights too, you know..." i wonder who came up with that. nobel prize for you, bard. haha ~michelle~

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