Cigarette
By Carmina Gitana
He says,
"We've got to have a talk."
So I light a cigarette -
a dirty little
nervous habit.
He says
it has been beautiful,
and I smile
because I am an idiot,
and run my tongue across
the menthol tip
of my cigarette.
He says
something about life's paths,
something philosophical,
something that reeks of such bullshit,
I cannot look him in the eye,
so I look instead
at the glowing red tip
of my cigarette,
the tiny red tongue
that licks circles around
the fragile, skin-like paper,
leaving soft gray ash
in its scorched wake.
The ash is like old lace;
it's pretty,
I think irrelevantly,
and he is still talking,
and my cigarette
is still burning down.
He says,
"Things change,
you've changed,
I've changed,"
and I take a gulping drag,
and choke
on the bitter, acrid smoke,
as though it were my first time.
He is talking
about her perfect ass
and perky tits.
Actually,
he is still talking
about life's paths
(at least, he thinks
I think
he is)
while I contemplate
my cigarette's
scorching red tip
and violence,
which is never the answer.
(What was the question again?)
He says,
"Do you know what I mean?"
Does he know what he means?
Because I sure as hell do,
so I nod,
and he looks so relieved,
so relieved.
My hand moves then, and
the pretty, pretty soft gray ash
lands on the floor.
My cigarette's
tiny red swirling tongue
looks vicious now,
and keeps moving downward.
He says,
"It has been beautiful,
and I will always - "
but my cigarette
has reached
the end of its patience
and its tiny red tongue
has come down to my fingers
and even though I had seen it coming
it hurts.
I let it go
with a little cry.
Awards
Comments on "Cigarette"
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A former member wrote:
I really like this you have a talent :)
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A former member wrote:
TODAY IS THE DAY I TRY TO QUIT...I saw this poem...now...somehow...I need to go have a little talk...brother
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A former member wrote:
Thank you
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On Thursday, October 20, 2005, Frater Synth
(66) wrote:
wow jus wow... that was awasome idk what else 2 say
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On Friday, September 30, 2005, Rone4611
(123) wrote:
Excellent anaology. Good Job.
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A former member wrote:
It's magnificint...any better and i think i would've needed to buy a carton
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On Friday, September 9, 2005, PoeticHellion
(191) wrote:
Beautiful.
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A former member wrote:
You make me wanna smoke! Nice write, i like it.
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A former member wrote:
What can I say that hasn't already been said about this? Nothing really so I'll just be repetetive....amazing....honestly this is very relatable in ways.....i love it!
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On Sunday, September 4, 2005, Possesion
(137) wrote:
Oh My......
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On Sunday, August 28, 2005, abattoir
(115) wrote:
this caught like a noose around my throat and pulled me along to the end...it was fukin amazing........
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On Tuesday, May 17, 2005, Graveyard_Desciple
(39) wrote:
wowsers! the imagery is unbelievable, fading in and out of attentivenes, just awesome.
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A former member wrote:
This is so good!! It leaves you hanging, desperate to know where it's going to go. Beautiful work! ~WithoutWords~
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A former member wrote:
When I get a comment on my own piece I feel inclined to read their works. I know for some reason, if they like mine, I should like theirs. Then I stumbled upon this piece n was astounded by your many thoughts and imagery all pieced together so magicaly! I
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A former member wrote:
"but my cigarette
has reached
the end of its patience" Excellent! Love the dialogue and the metaphor of waisted time, unravelling time, wounded time... the layers in 'red tongues'. Bravo!
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A former member wrote:
Great poem. I know a guy like that
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A former member wrote:
Outstanding! Very intelligently realized. A most inspired work.
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On Wednesday, February 23, 2005, MercyRain
(105) wrote:
This I like... so many layers, so much intrigue... the detachment and displacement, flirting between empathy and sympathy...
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On Sunday, February 20, 2005, capt_funguy
(778) wrote:
i'll read anything with " cigarette " in the title ... im glad i do .. it brought me to this piece ... so black and white scenery , with the cigarette tip glowing red , and redder ... excellent ... funguy
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A former member wrote:
it's an interesting poem. But does he really only have one eye?
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, Carmina Gitana
(149) wrote:
He does now . . . . *evil grin*
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On Sunday, February 20, 2005, Carmina Gitana
(149) wrote:
Incidentally, I *was* kidding.
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, Six-Out
(1435) wrote:
Wonderful metaphor. I loved every bit of this, the imagery, and the fact that it is stocked full of emotion. As with the rest, I'll just agree...wonderfully portrayed.
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, The Crimson Queen
(918) wrote:
very nicely descibed, i loved this!!
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, Jonas
(720) wrote:
excellent description and perfectly conveyed feeling... seeing through your eyes.
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, Gideon Lost
(138) wrote:
This is a great write! I love the mood you convey and that cigarette keeps burning down and down like you must feel. Awesome! I'm coming back for more!
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, purr_verse
(1059) wrote:
You work with emotive metaphor quite outstandingly well. This is a truly excellent write, so well observed and so well put together. Manywelcomes to dp - everything I've read of yours has been of a very high quality indeed.
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, Carmina Gitana
(149) wrote:
Coming from a poet such as yourself, that is a compliment indeed :) Thank you.
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, Sepulcrawl
(78) wrote:
this makes my favorites list. have a look at it and you will see why you should be flattered.
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, Carmina Gitana
(149) wrote:
I am, very :) "Vespine" is one of my own (hidden) favorites :)
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On Saturday, February 19, 2005, purr_verse
(1059) wrote:
aw, gee... Thank you, both of you, truly. :D
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A former member wrote:
*shakes head*
I dunno how ya do it, but you are..... again, bravo! Bravo!