i have this... reputation
that follows me like a pet cat
purring and nuzzling anyone who will stroke it



while i'm sitting in the corner
sipping my drink like a Good Girl
knees together
eyes on the floor

my slutty reputation
is lap dancing for a stranger
flirting with slinky women
and pulling someone
into the Pink Room
by his tie




they all think i'm so hedonistic
a lot of them look up to me, you know
they don't realize it's my reputation
that's putting notches in the head board
not me- i'm just sitting there
reading a book
doing a class paper, maybe
knitting my boyfriend a scarf.



sometimes i wish
i got as much action
as my reputation
who never seems to feel shy
always seems to be adored
and always knows what to do
when the lights are low
and the clothes are off.

i, in comparison
just close my eyes
and channel the girl
everyone else
imagines me to be.