Why I'm moving to Canada

By Nomad

This land is your land.
This land is my land,
the home of the brave
and the land of cotton
and the world’s largest supplier
of tupperware containers and accessories
(So take that France).

This land is drug stores
crammed side-by-side
and gravel driveways leading
to white picket fence paradise
and all best possible results
taken out of context.

This land is small towns
with 4 churches and 5 topless bars
and a Wal-Mart that towers over them all
like some soaring, Olympian monument
to great selection and low, low prices.

This land is skin-changing Corporations
that live forever like vampires,
drinking and shitting in the same reservoir
of our blood and sweat and tears,
of light beer and gasoline
and castor oil and sweet tea
(‘cause hey, we don’t need to know
where it came from:
is that a thumbnail-
now don’t make a scene hon…).

This is a land that can put 41 bullets
into the body of a black man
reaching for his wallet
but cannot spare one
for a man who sends our sons and daughters
to the edge of an ocean of despair
for the pleasure of liberating someone else’s sandbox
and making the world safer for the Democracy of Exxon Mobil
(we call this political economy:
apparently a model well worth dying for).

This is a land of pyramid schemes
and pipe-bomb dreams
of chop-block Chevies
and bellies bursting seams,
where every press-conference is a carnival
and the men in suits are clowns
who swallow fire and speak in tongues
to drown out the screaming, squishing sounds.

This land, my friend, is drinking long-necked beers
in bars with rowdy, boisterous strangers
and not having to tell anyone who your father was…
and how he worked for 40 years
in that same airless coffin,
that pillbox repository
for the detritus of middle management,
and how he swayed so gently
from that light fixture
where he took his stand against the madness of
good vibrations
that tear you apart from the inside
one delayed aspiration at a time-
until all that’s left is a pile of receipts
and a bric-a-brac smile
that cracks like cement
under the cold glare of
street lights.

This land is full of rocks to bend the plow
This land is full of soil to hide the dead
This land is full of choruses to warn the hero
That just as his time has come,
So will it go again.

This land is your land, my friend,
and you can have it.

(for b. benston)


Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 Nomad
Published on Sunday, February 29, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "Why I'm moving to Canada"

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  • Zeppy94 On Friday, March 1, 2019, Zeppy94 (46)By person wrote:

    Pyramid schemes and pipe bomb dreams that made me smile,,,thank you very much

  • Rowan On Sunday, April 11, 2010, Rowan (202)By person wrote:

    Damn. You told it well my friend. You got every aspect of this nation all right here pretty much. Good job with this. It's epic. Full of truth, and straight to the point about everything. You held nothing back and for that I applaud you. I think you've convinced me to move to Canada too :)

  • ubiquitoussoul On Sunday, April 11, 2010, ubiquitoussoul (346)By person wrote:

    One nations under the goodness! of this write..So f'kd up but very true ..Great job

  • DarkPoet On Tuesday, April 28, 2009, DarkPoet (232)By person wrote:

    Eat your heart out Carlin. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: ummm.... Scholar

  • Echoes of Orpheus On Friday, October 17, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (361)By person wrote:

    Don't forget the most important part, I'm in Canada, and I'm awesome :) just joking, this was a great piece, and I agree with it

  • Aurora_Light On Friday, October 17, 2008, Aurora_Light (472)By person wrote:

    I must agree, and Canada is so much more beautiful.

  • A former member wrote: Ummmmm.....dude.....that's what Canada is like. Though I wanna go to Nevada where the strip joints are next to the bars you piss where you drink. To smoke inside I miss. Good write though. Enjoyed it. Maybe try going to Andorra?

  • Reefer_rave On Tuesday, July 24, 2007, Reefer_rave (146)By person wrote:

    I love this, it describes the things people refuse to really see and yet are undeniably there

  • capt_funguy On Saturday, May 19, 2007, capt_funguy (778)By person wrote:

    still of course ... a classic ... funguy

  • ArtemisticSin On Sunday, May 6, 2007, ArtemisticSin (17)By person wrote:

    Just too true, I like all the metaphors.

  • nell On Wednesday, March 28, 2007, nell (271)By person wrote:

    i'm speaking for all canadians in saying we'll gladly have you!

  • Dei On Sunday, January 7, 2007, Dei (665)By person wrote:

    well spoken

  • HalfDarkAngel On Monday, November 13, 2006, HalfDarkAngel (59)By person wrote:

    wow. this is so honest. i totally agree with you. when you leave for canada i will go too.

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Friday, October 27, 2006, TropicalSnowstorm (1710)By person wrote:

    What a witty piece, I love the section "This land is small towns with 4 churches and 5 topless bars and a Wal-Mart that towers over them all like some soaring, Olympian monument to great selection and low, low prices"... Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • Last1inLine On Saturday, October 1, 2005, Last1inLine (14)By person wrote:

    So well said. Christ. Nice write. The ending is just perfect, and the wal-mart bit killed me. Well done.

  • xserratedsoulx On Thursday, September 1, 2005, xserratedsoulx (212)By person wrote:

    fucking beautiful, and tragically true. i stand impressed. xXxlaurenxXx

  • Sticky Kitty On Thursday, June 16, 2005, Sticky Kitty (242)By person wrote:

    wonderful. so lovely lovely dear ...-kitty

  • AniDayz On Saturday, January 15, 2005, AniDayz (820)By person wrote:

    this is soooo kick-ass--in the face...so intelligent. i simply MUST fave this. GREAT write

  • ardneK On Tuesday, January 11, 2005, ardneK (73)By person wrote:

    That is so great, you know, what is happening by me, is the take over of drug stores, and publix. I love this - >|

  • BeautifulCalamity On Wednesday, December 22, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (428)By person wrote:

    *faves*.. this was too great, every line spoke such depth through such surface. . nicely written

  • BeautifulCalamity On Wednesday, December 22, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (428)By person wrote:

    "and how he swayed so gently from that light fixture where he took his stand against the madness of good vibrations". that whole stanza was wicked. .just awesome write overall. . a brutal honesty, but one you wrote about in a perfect way. .WOW. . *f

  • stuart_pid On Wednesday, December 1, 2004, stuart_pid (135)By person wrote:

    i laughed, i cried, i pondered, and then i laughed some more. "so take that france" that was too perfect. well done.

  • Solace On Monday, November 15, 2004, Solace (1070)By person wrote:

    This is brilliant, fantastic, wonderful...fuck it, capt_funguy always says it best - reiterate and replace...Fantastic

  • A former member wrote: Such truth... I love how you stated everything. You have pure talent

  • so_skeevy On Wednesday, July 14, 2004, so_skeevy (64)By person wrote:

    and the only way to find happiness, is to look past it. and live for what makes you happy.

  • A former member wrote: that was ugly truth, beautifully stated...

  • manunkind On Monday, June 7, 2004, manunkind (64)By person wrote:

    you'd probably find canada boring.

  • A former member wrote: your rant is eloquent in its exposition of the truth that lies right under the fake plastic surface. very Ani Difranco

  • A former member wrote: heh. i'll echo jack... just remember tho', fashion and frostbite don't mix ;).

  • Mute Serenade On Monday, May 17, 2004, Mute Serenade (445)By person wrote:

    SomeOdd's comment was almost as beautiful as this peice.... you hit it too entirely on key for anyone to argue Nomad, great write. Sue

  • sulkylime On Thursday, March 4, 2004, sulkylime (191)By person wrote:

    this is witty, ironic, bittersweet.. ahh the vivid imagery- glad I came by this poem

  • A former member wrote: Holy shit. Each line sung to me of honesty and truth. And somehow...we all know this to be true, but we won't stand together against it. Guess I'll be making my way to Canada too...or maybe Mexico...it's warmer there.

  • flying_fox On Monday, March 1, 2004, flying_fox (573)By person wrote:

    brilliant...very very clever. I loved "This is a land of pyramid schemes and pipe-bomb dreams" but there are far too many great words here to quote. You should send a copy to George Dubya - not that he'd understand it. love it. FF

  • A former member wrote: haha, that's great. america sucks, it can't even compete with other countries any more cuz we have no damn jobs. wanna live in a tree in canada with me?

  • Six-Out On Sunday, February 29, 2004, Six-Out (1437)By person wrote:

    *looks out the window at the Wal-Mart towering over this small American town* Very nicely contructed, I loved your play of words nnd the imagar. Outstanding.

  • A former member wrote: Haha nice ending. It's all a bit beyond me, I think I've spent too long sheltered over in England. ~Wish Upon A Star

  • A former member wrote: this is fucking awesome. i love how you fit walmart in there and how it towers over EVERYTHING..and don't forget the low prices. pure genius.

  • capt_funguy On Sunday, February 29, 2004, capt_funguy (778)By person wrote:

    the stanza with ... " this land is full of rocks to bend the plow ...." oh my god ... flat out - brilliant - stands out severely for it's funneling effect on the whole piece - altogether , an astounding break of daylight and clarity ...

  • capt_funguy On Sunday, February 29, 2004, capt_funguy (778)By person wrote:

    even the rhyme pattern and cadence were tremendous .... a wry and telling piece of work man ... serious cool .... funguy

  • purr_verse On Sunday, February 29, 2004, purr_verse (1060)By person wrote:

    I can't say it any better than funguy has... Extremely well-written, very powerful work. purr

  • A former member wrote: This was awsome, absolutely awsome. This should be passed out on flyers at all major entry ports to the country. Very nicely done. ~Ship!

  • A former member wrote: Heh, I don't disagree, but I'm more intent on playing the system and destroying it from the inside. Come back when I'm president. :-D

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