Dexedrine

By Mute Serenade

My obedient pet
I want you in my veins
And sitting on my chest
Giving my heart a run for its money.

You are
My gun that's on empty
My brain ignited
Flighted
On falsified hope.

A story bok
With all delicacies included
In a soft voice
Polite skin
In whimpering mousy equations.

With you
I have the elegance
Of elderly woman
Who dress themselves up
For their evening soap opera
Adorned in blood red lipstick
And tacky, tacky jewelry.

You make crumpled paranoia
Seem beautiful
Seem dainty
On mute, chapped lips.

I wish I could hold you
But you've already flooded me-
Caused me to praise imperfection
Made me lie in dandelions
Pretending they were sunflowers
Constricting all muscles
In such comfortable ways.

Caused me to cower
At my own imperfections
GAve me truth and terror
Unravelled all subtleties
Till I'm pouring
"I am not beautiful."

You are my rollercoaster
Of blood and life
Death and terror
Callous Beauty
Tragic Envy.

You give me life and death and reality
And I pine for you
To make me one
With the sickness
You give me
The life
You breathe into me
The reality
You strike down upon me
That I will neglect
So I can praise you.

You carry me through night
Into morning
And I become
The snow screen that's left
When the tape stopped playing.

I love you
Because I'm to hollow
To care about anything
Except trying to execute
One complete sentence.

And I feel
Like the best orgasm
Or the cheapest fuck
-I can't really decide-
But sleep doesn't come
Either way
My eyes still ache through hours of the sun.

And I am left on the doorstep
Of the conclusion
That there is no conclusion-

That I am
So intensely beautiful
So intensely ugly
So intensely indifferent...
I just wish I could close my eyes.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Thursday, February 26, 2004. Filed under:

Comments on "Dexedrine"

A former member wrote: This hits home for me, but my vice was opiates, particularly hydrocodone and morphine. Those two had me by the short hairs until I broke away pretty forcefully. I see the damage that prescription drugs can do, but I also understand how they work as well. I know that you wrote this a while ago, but your amazing voice shines through, Lovely Lady. Rebs:).
A former member wrote: wow.excellent.powerful and so beautifully descriptive, u r talking about speed right? ive been on ritalin and adderall since age 8, i can relate.awesome write thank you for sharing. -thor
On Tuesday, October 24, 2017, Mute Serenade (389) wrote:

Dexedrine was a bipolar drug they plucked from the market because it was stupid addictive. I didn't have bipolar. Also, Hugh Heffner was addicted to it for 30 years... Think cocaine without the come down... Why did they give this shit to kids, lol...
On Tuesday, September 5, 2017, carlosjackal (2787) wrote:

This is way out wicked and super dope good. Another classic write.
On Saturday, August 12, 2017, Divine hell (238) wrote:

Pure perfection, the spectrum of emotion is very radiant through your descriptions, its seems to me you personify someone or something with the medicine dexedrine and that makes the read so much more enjoyable to me. Awesome write.
A former member wrote: Excellent.
On Wednesday, April 12, 2006, waterchica999 (29) wrote:

Fucken Great...thats as best as I can Put it....Fucken Great...you really are talented
On Wednesday, November 24, 2004, blue (1409) wrote:

....i i.... i just fell in love with your writing... somebody give her another check! lol
On Wednesday, December 1, 2004, blue (1409) wrote:

...sitting speechless, favoring a tear or a smile...I can't decide which. You are amazing! ~B
On Saturday, September 11, 2004, Dayer (162) wrote:

Amazing!
On Wednesday, April 28, 2004, OLd SouL (717) wrote:

'Made me lie in dandelions Pretending they were sunflowers Constricting all muscles In such comfortable ways' Great poem. I like this poem alot and all its little contradictions. :::OLd
A former member wrote: wow, Speachless
A former member wrote: i have read this at least five times and every time i still love it. beautiful imagery and emotion. awesome :-)
On Sunday, March 21, 2004, flying_fox (571) wrote:

awesome write...brilliant imagery, clear emotions. Fantastic stuff!! Fox
On Thursday, March 18, 2004, capt_funguy (777) wrote:

hurry up ....funguy
A former member wrote: "And I become The snow screen that's left When the tape stopped playing." Awsome lines in an overall awsome write. Rollercoasters like you describe are always an emotional ride for better or worse. Awsome write. ~Ship!
On Monday, March 1, 2004, capt_funguy (777) wrote:

wimpering mousy equations --- incredible .. snow screen , old lady lipstick , crumpled paranoia ... killer . love getting caught immobilized in front of your train of thought .. funguy
On Monday, March 1, 2004, capt_funguy (777) wrote:

sorry , not funguy ... how 'bout ... The Floodmaster of Greasy Lake ... that'll do ...
On Monday, March 1, 2004, Mute Serenade (389) wrote:

Haha, how bout "Cornelius"?
On Tuesday, March 2, 2004, capt_funguy (777) wrote:

cornelius .... done ---- cornelius
On Saturday, February 28, 2004, Alanarchy (1168) wrote:

For some reason, this poem reminds me of a 'My Ruin' song. pretty cool.
A former member wrote: OoOoh Wow, I love this. There's a truth to it that really struck me. Great title too. : ) ~Wish Upon A Star
A former member wrote: This is so good, except for the second to last verse. Just my opinion. Even though, this is going on my favorites. I love the twisted usage of words. - U.P.