Blinding Essence

Today... I lost the sun.
such as I loved that bright,
brilliant orb.
so fully
with my whole being.

But as day turned to night
I felt as though I were fighting against it!
desperately attempting... to hold it above water.
as I began
.....................sinking
                              underneath.
D r o w
           n
             i
              n
                g
                  ...
(as I could no longer breathe)
fighting to maintain stability.

And then so it came upon me
realization
I could never keep ahold of something
anything!
so scorching hot
burning my touch.
Blinding!  so blinding...
All of my focus just trying to keep close
to keep warm.


.
.
And so I released!!!
And down he went,
                                with such ferocity!
Saddened, though,
by my despair.

No longer the center of attention,
the focal point of my heart..

And there I sat,
exasperated! ...at my loss.
Staring down upon these hands
that have given and lost
so much...
That have fought and bled
for so many...
And still remain,
                alone.

Lost in oblivion
there
 I lingered
the hour hand
my only distraction...

And so she rose!
in her quiet subtelty.
The night, ]once again[
welcoming
me home.

As that soft moon,
soothed my singed heart.
These damned shades
placed upon the ground,
I look up to her and sob...
And release!

...I never liked that damn sun
                                              anyway...