puking it all away

bent over life
puking
and I mean really puking this time
like an overeager teenager
after a night of binge drinking
this cathartic process emptying me
heart gone
stomach gone
liver gone
but the memories linger
like a foul aftertaste
bitter but in a good way
watching it all flush away

there is something to be said about a good puke
belly heaving
mouth open
eyes bulging in disbelief
a voice inside whispering chaos,
“why is this taking forever”?
it’s as though time were sitting there
right next to you and that porcelain
watching you, judging you
and giving you a slap on the back
while cheering you on and slyly chanting,
“come on now, one more and make it a good one”

sometimes letting go can be so very draining
leaving you slumped over a toilet
without an ounce of “give a fuck” left
but you need this
you’ve got to let some things go
in order to make room for all the shiny,
new, shimmering bullshit that dances it’s way in
shortly after you’ve heaved out enough of it
to see clearly for a moment

this isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you
there are worse things
like finding out there’s no santa
or god
or easter bunny
and that your prayers are useless
imagine wasting so much time kneeling down
asking for more
when you could have been letting it all go