I feel like I’m full of overwhelming emotions that often are polar opposites.
I feel love and hate
Anger and happiness
Pity and disgust
And in no way can I control these
And tears cascade down my face in an ever present rain storm
My heart is full and broken, coinciding
I feel like this mist is surrounding me and leading me in circles
I’ll go crazy and starve
The emotions are unsubstantial and I get no pleasure from this head fuck
Eventually I will be lying in a puddle of my own tears dying from dehydration
I will weep until the end
Where the light peters out and they only thing that holds value is the one last breath I draw
It sings a song
And the song is happy yet sad, and ends far too quickly for any who are witnesses to comprehend
I would wade in this moment, float into a abyss of intangible design
Become something other then my corporeal body
Become everything and nothing at the same time
Death is only a jumping point
An illusion
A jumping point with endless free fall
An eternity of weeping
Tears that never hit bottom, gravity never interceding
Physics are not applicable in the afterlife
Afterlife can’t really be called much of a life at all though
Nothing is living in the afterlife
Much like afterbirth
It is dead as is death
And not much to evolve or change
Stagnation
Like the stagnation of my heart
Frozen in one moment in time
An icy block like stone, blood coagulates and seizes the valves
Choking it’s motivation
Frigid like a still life incantation
Like a dance where all the players are mannequins
A void with no breeze but at the same time a wind tunnel with your eyes sewn shut
Alone in an ocean of people, but all they do is breath
This desert stretches out, instead of sand, asphalt is all my bare-feet hit
Now I am insane
I stop struggling in the ocean of indifference and drowned