stigmata

By KittyStryker

i crucify myself on the cross of my own insecurity
drive in the nails of fear and self hatred
i am a martyr
i am a martyr
and i project into your eyes the dislike i have for myself
the lack of love i have for myself
i project it into your eyes
and i crucify myself
because you hate me the way i do

but it was apparent how you felt about me
when you checked your watch every minute that we spent
you checked your watch
and your phone messages
to make sure you weren't missing something important
i am a martyr
i am a martyr
and i crucify myself
because i wanted you to love me the way i didn't
and you checked your watch
and acted like you were interested
in what i was saying
one eye on the door

i hang on this cross i made myself
i cut the trees down, i sanded the wood
and it's a comfortable place to hang
as crosses go
i would be a martyr
i would be a martyr
but you don't love me enough
to even be here to watch me go
i don't love me enough to keep me here
i plunge the nails in and smile
because i hate me as much as i've made you hate me
and i am alone on my cross
alone on my cross

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 Bast
Published on Monday, February 7, 2005.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "stigmata"

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  • virginalnympho On Tuesday, October 14, 2008, virginalnympho (19)By person wrote:

    this has inspired an upcoming tattoo. and also explained perfectly the current ache in my chest. thank you

  • Green-eyed Raven On Thursday, February 10, 2005, Green-eyed Raven (54)By person wrote:

    Truthful and heart felt... you speak to me truelly.

  • A former member wrote: mmm..and tori is stuck in my head now, thank you for that...

  • Kali Ma On Monday, February 7, 2005, Kali Ma (43)By person wrote:

    This was absolutely lovely. Heart-rending with truth and experiences felt. I'm sure you know that not all are like this, you just have to find the right one... and they are out there. Wish you luck. ~ Asheai

  • AniDayz On Monday, February 7, 2005, AniDayz (812)By person wrote:

    damn...im shakin in the wake of this read. this is brilliant...i am stunned speechless. *


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