god lives underwater
By swing_the_hammer
follow, follow
follow me down
into the river
where we can drown
our bad dreams
from the shivers
in our spines,
we can pretend
that things are fine
and in the end i’ll say
you were always mine
you were always
mine
come, come
come with me
my darling
why can’t you just be
my shaking sweet
dark starling
of the night
we can pretend
that things are all right
and in the end
i’ll say they might
i’ll say they
might
hold, hold
hold me closer
by the river
bless me in this water,
drown my dreams in shivers
down my spine
and though i know that we
will never be fine
in the end i’ll say
you were always mine
you were always
mine
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 swing_the_hammer
Published on Thursday, January 20, 2005.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Awards
Comments on "god lives underwater"
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On Friday, April 15, 2016, beamish
(134) wrote:
I like the rhythm alot
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A former member wrote:
Love, love, love it! :D
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On Saturday, November 24, 2007, Waiting for a Sign
(9) wrote:
This is good; nice rythm and rhyme; kinda reminds me of how I write-- now I'm tempted to read the rest of your works.
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On Thursday, May 10, 2007, disc
(36) wrote:
Excellent beat. You've got a style I like. I'm reading more.
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On Thursday, June 2, 2005, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
smooth and flowing, hauntingly lovely. wonderfully drifted in the ethereal waves you created, calming .... so lovely
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On Monday, April 18, 2005, Dei
(663) wrote:
interesting title for a great write.
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On Tuesday, April 12, 2005, so_skeevy
(64) wrote:
That was so amazing...
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On Monday, February 7, 2005, Sticky Kitty
(241) wrote:
beautiful and lingering. Wonderful write. Your words are flowing through my mind.... -kitty
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, purr_verse
(1052) wrote:
haunting, beautifully constructed write. I agree with ShadowFlight's "rhythmis, sensual and ethereal" comment absolutely. Excellent stuff.
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A former member wrote:
This had excellent structure. I wish i could say something more substantial, but i am at a loss for words. Wonderful work.
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, FindAgentX
(31) wrote:
very pretty. i really like the title. i wish i had more room on my fav list.
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, ShadowFlight
(105) wrote:
very nice... rhythmic, sensual and ethereal at the same time. Easy to step into the shoes of whomever you're talking to and follow you down that river
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, stormtalk
(727) wrote:
The eerie melody of this is beautiful... your rhythm commands my attention while your images subject it to a shiveringly pleasurable trip down a river at midnight... the "dark starling" stanza was particularly masterful. Feed me more!
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, BleedSilver
(298) wrote:
Good write. I enjoyed this piece very much...Your repetative, smooth rhyme scheme was flawless. Good job!
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, AniDayz
(812) wrote:
lyrical indeed...such a beautiful rhyming flow...kissed with originality. *great write*i've missed reading your works...glad i saw this
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, happilydepressed
(400) wrote:
i love this, this is going on my fav. list
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, Liz
(265) wrote:
Lyrical, exactly what I was thinking. I really like this piece, and I'd love to hear it flow in music. It feels very gentle.
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, call to arms
(31) wrote:
This is so lyrical and beautiful. Original. I love it.
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, murder_in_clubland
(384) wrote:
I love that song. god lives underwater. mmhmm
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On Thursday, January 20, 2005, swing_the_hammer
(48) wrote:
haven't heard of the song- i should check it out...