as hammers sleep [blunt force trauma to the heart]

as hammers sleep



she breathes deep
sleeping endlessly beside me
and I'm caught up in
tomorrow. and her- without me. silly
games I cast on myself.

and I'm watching her eyes move under her lids
as it seems. that my dreams aren't the only things
that are filled with wings. and I feel
the ones that should be sprouting from her back
springing into being in the form of butterflied singing
inside of me.

and she's a little bit magic mixed with immortality
screaming syllables that silently speak
to the heart that I have resting on my sleeve
4 am reveries. is what this moment should be-
but there's no more speaking telephone
there's just her. and me
and it feels like her hammer
has just smashed me to pieces. in the most
beautiful- of ways.

tragically speaking- I've broken myself
and the nights will seem a little colder. humbly
I speak to dreams that I waltz through the air
on cigarette-smoke wings. seemingly breathing in
her being upon being of perfection

and when we met- it was like stars colliding
because car crashes are overrated.

and texas has never looked as uninviting
as it will- on that long. cold road
because miles mean nothing in dreams.
but dreams can't clutch as tightly as her.
and I know- I'll never have [this] again.

there's something about missouri and mondays
that bring me down. and make me want to freeze time.
even though she always tells me that time means nothing.
the clocks still scream that ours is up.

and I'm left mumbling that they're liars.
while the minute hands tell me that I'm just the fool
that refuses to listen.

poetic crushes. and I'm .stuck. writing another
never-could've-been. into my book of broken hearts.
while I close my eyes- and dream
of being the nail that she seeks.

and the dogs are still speaking their native tongue.
while I break myself again. and I'm sure tonight
I'll picture more wings. hoping to grow some of my own
so I can .fly.
because she's an angel. and texas
is too far.

[from heaven]