David & Goliath

By Six-Out

you can tread on water- baby. walk a mile in my heart
tip-toe: my love. for you know not what you do

I can count your smiles. and listen to the stories your eyes tell
and I can fall. down-down-down/ heels over head
[for you] - and I doubt you'd even notice.
if only. yea, if only I could take out your rose tinted contacts
see _you. through my eyes. see.perfection

black and gold- my fingers bleed affliction
and I want. as I've never wanted before- I.want.you
my mosaic mistress- welcome to my dreams

if only I could get you out. for it's hard to love- a shadow

and I'd fight for you. every day if it would matter
but it seems/ I've walked into this battle [unprepared]
with only my words-

in a [perfect] world- you'd be mine. but perfection is a rarity
and your heart is still guarded by a giant- your will to not care

and you can call me David. only I've lost my stones

[my fingers bleed affliction] and my heart bleeds denial
I need a bucket. because it's raining remorse
and I'm soaked in your apathy

if only tears were rock hard. I might stand a chance

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Sunday, November 28, 2004. Filed under: "Ironic" and "Poetry"

Comments on "David & Goliath"

A former member wrote: beautiful poem
A former member wrote: crafted in tropes so well composed and wrought... those last lines pulling the sentiment and figures together in a beautiful blend of vision and expression..... such depth, truly a work of art. *bows*
On Saturday, December 15, 2007, carlosjackal (2787) wrote:

Such tangible yearning..excellent piece and I would love to hear this wrapped in beautiful, deilcate, heartbreaking music.
On Wednesday, June 21, 2006, Mr King (547) wrote:

beautiful work my friend!
On Friday, March 4, 2005, AniDayz (812) wrote:

'i can count your smiles...' 'for it's hard to love- a shadow...' 'yea if only i could take out your rose tinted contacts...' ' i need a bucket.because it's raining remorse...'...AND 'if only tears were rock hard i might stand a chance...'~~w o w
A former member wrote: Damn man story of my life right here. "and I'd fight for you. every day if it would matter but it seems/ I've walked into this battle [unprepared] with only my words-" Doesn't it always sound good in our heads though? Great work. ~Ryan
A former member wrote: the first,oh i'de say half, of this poem reminded me of a good song by a very good band, that i love, called fifteen. so nice job
On Tuesday, November 30, 2004, stormtalk (727) wrote:

This one would make a kickass Bright Eyes song. I like the Goliath analogy, the "mosaic mistress" line, and the shadowy romantic undertones. I'm not sure I like the punctuation as much as the rest.
A former member wrote: O my, that last line was just heart-breaking. I cannot conjure a worthy comment. . . . but this poem will go on my faves. . sincerely heart-wrenching, Jon. Wonderfully written - Superb! ~ Rose
On Monday, November 29, 2004, Ravenblade (307) wrote:

Amazing write Jon, its been a while since I've been able to come to the site, and usually when I do its for other things, but this was something I couldn't pass up...>Raven
On Monday, November 29, 2004, purr_verse (1052) wrote:

great conclusion, with a powerful and cleverly woven metaphor both there and throughout this deeply saddening write. Wonderfully crafted, of course. Great stuff, sir. :)
A former member wrote: wow
On Sunday, November 28, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (428) wrote:

--another lovely write. makes sense. nice work.
On Sunday, November 28, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (428) wrote:

"but it seems/ I've walked into this battle [unprepared] with only my words-"..ehh, I quote too much..there's a lot I liked about this. it's a very strong piece, covered in sadness and bleeding wishful wanting. you're a lovely writer, and this was anoth
A former member wrote: blah, blah, blah, general words of praise for jon the master, blah, blah, blah....seriously, that's scary sadness wrapped in words...*hugs*
A former member wrote: i just think in general your awesome.. I can only expect the best when I read yours amazing write.
On Sunday, November 28, 2004, ShadowFlight (105) wrote:

yep... another great one from you... the desire (and fear) is so palpable here- superb write
A former member wrote: Intoxicating. Your words are drugs, and that last line is like a railroad tie to finish up the nails on a most perplexing, entrancing coffin-of-a-poem. -END-
On Sunday, November 28, 2004, Sin (1135) wrote:

damn Jon, this was so sad and tragic..it brought tears to my eyes