Pea Tee Ess Dee
By Mute Serenade
I’m a hunger that’s never quelled, even among the finest fare,
A scratch that never sates the itch, even when the bones are bare
A bird driven by a refusal to land, a diver that never emerges for air
But people tell me I’m very good at what I do.
A lack of satisfaction bores the base of my attraction
I’m fueled by lungs lapping at bowls of smoke
And with a deep exhale I’m the finest type of vermicide.
Cause stillness is a sudden end for a shark,
And I am the running motor that doesn’t stop,
Standing on the sails of a ship never docked.
I am perpetually forward and oblivious to the periphery,
Trying to grasp something always out of hand, to the point of insanity.
But people tell me I’m very good at what I do.
It’s better, I think, not to know
All the ways and hows it prevents you to grow
So few shatter like I do, at the call
When stillness and silence drip from the walls,
Weighs down the veins, envelops the lungs
Into songs of molasses my inadequacies sung.
With enough momentum, I’ll never look back
I’ll never stay still, keeping my obstacles stacked.
I’ll never get to linger on the smell of a rose
But I’ll never get acquainted to the thorns that it sows.
When the trauma fades into memory and the nightmares subside,
The burdens we bare, the madness we hide,
Manifests itself into something like pride.
Because people tell me I'm very good at what I do.
Comments on "Pea Tee Ess Dee"
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A former member wrote:
"And I am the running motor that doesn't stop", damn I'm so jealous of that line. Perhaps I'm reading this all wrong, but to me this reads like the relentless nature of a panic attack. In my early twenties, I had horrendous panic attacks, and this really struck that chord with me. Once again Lovely Lady, thank you for writing such amazing words. Rebs:).
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On Sunday, November 12, 2017, Mute Serenade
(389) wrote:
You have left me the sweetest comments and I thank you :) ... Not so much panic attacks, but basically since I was a kid I've been way over the top type A.... "Ok! This objective is complete... Next objective!" My aggressive and unrelenting nature when it comes to accomplishments has been an asset, but it also means I spent years on edge, never slowing down, made perfectly uncomfortable but the insatiable urge to do because anything short of that made me feel inadequate :) a therapist once told me that I rush forward at break neck speeds so I can be bothered with what's happening to either side of my line of vision - dealing with past traumas, acknowledging the sickness in some relationships, etc. Moving forward to ignore :) it's been an isolating but lucrative issue to have. Lately I've been better about being present. Much much better :)
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On Sunday, November 12, 2017, Mute Serenade
(389) wrote:
How's that for a VH1 behind the music style rant ;)
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On Friday, August 25, 2017, dwells
(4177) wrote:
"I'm very good at what I do - just what that was, I wish I knew..." A magnificent mélange of metaphorical mastery on display here MS - or could that be Em Ess maybe??? Well done and cheers! - Dan
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On Tuesday, August 22, 2017, Jerry stiles
(235) wrote:
Silence drips from the walls,,,priceless,,,great write ma'am,,
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On Monday, August 21, 2017, worm
(1149) wrote:
this was like a bucket of cold water to the face! awesome! ~worm~
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On Monday, August 21, 2017, carlosjackal
(2788) wrote:
What a doozy of a piece. Instant favedom. Fo Shiz.
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On Sunday, August 20, 2017, Drea
(1388) wrote:
That's last stanza was perfect. Endings are never easy (at least for me) but you managed to do it superbly. The flow of this... and the way you stitched these words together hit the right buttons. Thiis was good.