deadline confidant
By denver nitze
habitually hiding deep inside
only giving out 'free' rides
welcomed strangers in her home
didn't ask questions, undying love
ousting nothing holding tender ones
yelling not, caring too much
only giving and taking naught
understanding shoulder to offer
ask me anything, why not?
secrets kept and skeletons hide
kept hidden in the files, the files inside
forgotten when she placed them
only distant memories
really just an excuse to blame
her insanity
everybody loves her
let them all have a piece
pulling and tugging
who will take the last?
her tears fall on silence
envy them she does
never telling secrets
yelling she never was
oleander taken won't be the death of her
undead and the willing
are taken from this grace
revel in her fury
execute it.
but don't forget she loved you
every moment shared
you all took pieces of her
only the pieces were never there.
now she lays in silence
desperation took her fate
is it too soon to ask her
to bring another plate
?
Comments on "deadline confidant"
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A former member wrote:
damn, this is good.
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On Saturday, May 17, 2008, meadowlea
(19) wrote:
good write reminds me of my sister and i, always holding up others noone to hold us when needed
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On Monday, March 17, 2008, GraveFlower
(240) wrote:
....amazing......in a way it makes me feel like a million dead rotted flies come to life and swarm all over me,,i dont know,,good write though love,,really.
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A former member wrote:
I liked the imagery in this.
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On Sunday, March 16, 2008, Narcissa
(391) wrote:
Ive been there too...and once everyone helps themsevles you are left drinking alone. I love the raw emotion you displayed in this piece.
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On Sunday, March 16, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus
(357) wrote:
Not the tangled I'm used to reading but this is a clear insight into your current state of mind nonetheless. The scattering of a few rhymes fits in with the mood and overall feel of the piece. If this work expresses your emotion in this "dark place" then it in no way sucks. It captures the purpose of poetry. In my mind anyways
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On Sunday, March 16, 2008, denver nitze
(251) wrote:
thank you. i was trying to use the lack of rhyme and rhythm to express the harder side of being a listener and not a sharer. the inconsistency in feelings in this situation. it can be hard to take others pains in and help them. especially when you really need to talk to someone, but aren't the type to let others hear your pain. this is a bit personal but was written for anyone who can relate to being that 'shoulder to cry on' but always falling on nothing but your own empty shoulder when it is your turn to cry. like a clown, always spreading joy, not allowed to cry. it is an experimental piece and yet another of my 'hidden messages' thank you for reading it and for your response. *bows* ~ta
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On Sunday, March 16, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus
(357) wrote:
See I knew there was something to it. Maybe I saw it because I do in fact relate to that. Upon reading it again now, it is well done. *salutes*
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On Sunday, March 16, 2008, denver nitze
(251) wrote:
yeah it sucks. i'm in a dark place. ~ta
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On Sunday, March 16, 2008, denver nitze
(251) wrote:
yeah that was a dumb comment. i'm in a strange place today. disregard it please. *big cheesy smile* ~ta