choking on sand
By denver nitze
carefully placed grains of sand
tenderly wet
with the tears of an angel,
who sought an ocean to calm
her woes
and ease the pain
that had shot her out of the sky
in the first place.
in her race to erase
the past of her crimes
to lift up her heart
to swallow her rhymes.
it started with just a few fistfuls
but soon a castle arose
she was queen of this castle
her tower of sand
it stood next to an ocean
and she dared
to hold oceans hand.
to give ocean freely,
the heart she kept guarded.
and no sooner
had she let go
the tears that had held so tight
grew weak in their flight
and the tower came crashing,
and the queen lost her knight.
and the ocean went crawling
from whence forth it came,
for it never thought it deserved her,
not her, not really,
anyways.
and when the ocean
came
crashing
and then it withdrew,
turning the beach
to a desert
only sky.
only dew.
for it felt it had hurt her,
had taken her home
so the ocean went hiding
to where?
no one knows.
and the queen who had stood
in her tower of sand.
was now all alone
with her tears in her hands.
because no one ever told her
that castles built of sand...
...aren't waterproof.
and a tarnished angel becomes tangeled...
Comments on "choking on sand"
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On Monday, April 7, 2008, NikesRain
(1240) wrote:
my mind and heart tumbled and sighed over the visuals you created with this and the emotions cut off my voice... thank gods i can type at least... great work
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On Thursday, March 6, 2008, GraveFlower
(240) wrote:
awe lovely,,,of course ,,,you can,,,darling..your amazing,,i had to read it again
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On Tuesday, March 4, 2008, GraveFlower
(240) wrote:
mmmmm,,,,i love that you have a poem your your evolution, i felt as if i was choking on sand for a moment, mm, beautiful, as is the writer,,
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On Tuesday, March 4, 2008, denver nitze
(251) wrote:
maybe i should change the title to 'choking on sand' (with silent's permission) i think i like it better anyways, more related to the feeling i'm trying to express. thank you beautiful. :)
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On Tuesday, March 4, 2008, zanewill
(82) wrote:
this has a great flow... sand & water have been one of my recent motiffs. great re- wryte!!!!>>
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On Tuesday, March 4, 2008, SGT Bloth
(162) wrote:
And castles made of sand melt into the sea, eventually- Jimi Hendrix I am madly..awww fuk it you know the rest