I Smile as I Die
By Butterfly
It was good to laugh again
In the darkness I had forgotten how
But you opened up my heart
And made me reevaluate myself
I love to sit and watch you
As you gaze into my soul
All those heartfelt looks
Shattered through the cold
My life was so unbearable
As I cut and made the scars
I hid
behind the black
To cover all my fears
Never had I learned
till then
I couldn't hide from my memory
Even wanting to forget
them
They'll always be inside of me
Then you came along
Like a snowflake in July
Showed exactly who I was
And helped
me through my lie
You showed me that you loved me
And
looked at me with those eyes
Something moistened my pale face
As I began to cry
A feeling of regret crept in
When
I realized what I had done
I had chased away the pain
And put
my sorrows on the run
You showed me how to be loved once
And I showed you I was strong
I felt the raw emotion
And
knew it wasn't wrong
Then one godless fateful night
While you were driving all alone
Then the Lady felt it right
To bring you before her throne
Then I found myself again
Dressed up all in black
As the eulogy echoed in my ears
The memories came flooding back
My tears fell soft and freely
As I thought of what I'd lost
You were the only one that had truly
seen me
And now you knew the cost
Everyone around me
Looked at me with accusing eyes
"Look at what you did to him,
By filling his heart with all your lies."
I sat and truly
cried that night
I really didn't care
In my hand a carving
knife
Oh how I was scared
And once again I cut myself
A deep line across my wrists
No longer would I mutilate
Just to look at all my scars
All alone in a tiny room
I let the blood run free
I looked up at a picture of you
Smiling
down at me
The pain only lasts a minute
As it numbs
away my life
As you smiled in Death's vision
I smile as I die
Comments on "I Smile as I Die"
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On Tuesday, July 4, 2006, Darkest_Addiction
(44) wrote:
to find hope an then have it ripped away from you...that is true pain i'm so sorry
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On Tuesday, April 18, 2006, mywristshurt
(405) wrote:
it is the most beautiful poem i've seen yet on this site... and thats a lot.. it really looks like you cared a lot for this person, and you dont know how much i can relate.. favorites, here i come
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On Tuesday, April 19, 2005, Kinkypoptart
(555) wrote:
very sad... but very talented and awesome ~*~Tart~*~
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A former member wrote:
aww..love it..^^..sad..buh love it..
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On Thursday, October 7, 2004, Butterfly
(99) wrote:
Thank you once again. I appreciate the comments.
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A former member wrote:
Beautifully written...Love it!!!
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A former member wrote:
It is heartbreaking and so real, I love it very much it is a great piece of work
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On Wednesday, October 6, 2004, Butterfly
(99) wrote:
Thank you both. This is probably my best piece. In my eyes at least.
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On Tuesday, August 10, 2004, Butterfly
(99) wrote:
Hey you. I haven't seen you in the forum lately. Don't let them get you down. :) L8rs.
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On Tuesday, August 10, 2004, Simply Me
(40) wrote:
This is so heart breaking. I remember it from the open forum but had forgotten how sad it was. Great work :)