Stoics and Stars, Scars and Scope

By Godot

Many times she said to me that love and life are tender,
But why should I concede this point or otherwise surrender?
Nor will I assail her more while curs and boors defend her --
The effort, vain, the purpose, lost; I cannot comprehend her.

Many times she made it known that I could never save her,
That petulance and headaches were the sum of what I gave her.
And loathing in this style, sure as steel she would not waver,
Her disposition calloused toward those fallen from her favor.

She slanders goddess Luna when she writes as though she needs him;
Hangs herlself, a garish opal, glows until she bleeds dim;
Gives herself in body to a boy as she misleads him,
Her heart betrothed to someone else whose decadence precedes him

And here I leave those better days in songs and photographs,
As she carves my trifling name into her girlhood epitaphs.
To reduce impassioned trysts to ungainly teenaged gaffes --
A sentiment which one reflects upon, pauses, and then laughs.

*i do not think this piece is finished yet *
*in fact, this is really just a rough draft*

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Published on Sunday, December 1, 2002.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "Stoics and Stars, Scars and Scope"

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  • A former member wrote: Rarely does one find such an excellent poem. This is absolutely dripping with rhythm and hurt and it made me want to write something myself. Great job.

  • Echoes of Orpheus On Wednesday, June 25, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (367)By person wrote:

    Glad to have stumbled across this piece, well structured. An enjoyable read.

  • A former member wrote: i love it

  • A former member wrote: I know a boy who would say the same thing about me, if only he could find the words. It is wonderful to read, with attitude & beat.

  • Metal Lullaby On Thursday, May 11, 2006, Metal Lullaby (47)By person wrote:

    this is wonderful

  • A former member wrote: It's a beautiful rough draft goes nicely. My heart hurts because you've explained me so well. I also agree it is not finished yet, but well done. I love it much much. -Salem

  • BeautifulCalamity On Thursday, November 25, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (429)By person wrote:

    loved the last two stanzas, they completely crowned this write as brilliance. great GREAT work--calamity--

  • BeautifulCalamity On Thursday, November 25, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (429)By person wrote:

    "And here I leave those better days in songs and photographs, As she carves my trifling name into her girlhood epitaphs." I love the complexity of this rhyming poem.. most I read are fairly simple but this was wonderful. Great lines in this.. Loved the

  • icyhott On Saturday, June 12, 2004, icyhott (37)By person wrote:

    Not only dose your meaning come accross clearly but you use such beauty in everything you write, weather it be gorish or otherwise it just comes out beautifully. *hott*

  • purr_verse On Tuesday, December 16, 2003, purr_verse (1062)By person wrote:

    shit, if this is a draft... Phenomenal metre (and I'm very picky about metre - the final line is the only one that pushes it) and rhythm, a rhyme pattern delicious and original. magic. purr

  • stormtalk On Friday, August 5, 2005, stormtalk (730)By person wrote:

    Couldn't have said it better. Impressively well done.

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