did i seriously wake up for this?

By KittyStryker

i want to be able to say
it's not me, it's you
but i still have my own
self doubts
and i still feel
like maybe i wasn't good enough
to make you want to stay.

i still wonder
what she has that i don't
why you're eager to spend
your weekends
in her bed
and yet seem reluctant
to make a plan
to see me

you still say you love me
keeping me confused
keeping me wondering
and i can't
just can't
keep feeling this way

i can't understand
how you love me
and what we have
is something casual
casual love?
does it work that way for you?
can you write off the people
you love
so easily?

i don't get it

i guess
either
you love her
or
you treat
the ones you love
like
abandoned
stuffed
animals

there for a cuddle
when you remember
to brush off
the dust bunnies

and i've said this all
before

yeah.....
breaking up with you
is going to be
like eating my vegetables-
i don't want to
i wish i didn't have to
but i know
that it's good for me.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Wednesday, June 2, 2004. Filed under: "Poetry"

Comments on "did i seriously wake up for this?"

A former member wrote: ::crunches some broccoli:: "i guess either you love her or.... abandoned stuffed animals" quite a barb to those lines. penetratingly incisive writing as usual.
On Thursday, June 3, 2004, Mademoiselle_Minx (108) wrote:

*feel like this?I know its not what you want to hear.But a time will come when you'll think fck it I cant take it anymore+you'll walk away.And it'll be a v good decision to do so.
On Friday, June 4, 2004, KittyStryker (710) wrote:

:) thankee.
On Thursday, June 3, 2004, Mademoiselle_Minx (108) wrote:

kitty.Its hard to do,cos if your like me you'll love when your together.But then if he makes you sad...is it really worth it?I remember looking into my mirror crying and thinking that before I decided to end it.Is anyone worth it if they make you feel lik
On Thursday, June 3, 2004, Mademoiselle_Minx (108) wrote:

*feel the lonliest person in the world.I too couldnt stand the thought of other girls with him, so I chucked him.And Im no longer crying because the thing that was causing my tears is now long gone.Onto the next poor bugga who'll have him I say.Walk away
On Thursday, June 3, 2004, Mademoiselle_Minx (108) wrote:

Hmmm...yeah like i said before had this kinda thing so I ended it.It seems to me maybe he means more to you then you do him?In which case your going to continue to get hurt.So finish it.Better to be alone because you can be in a relationship and still fee
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, Seraphic (209) wrote:

some good "girl power" advice might be good about now, but it's too heart wrenching...that last stanza, something painful yet nicely put :) *~seraph~*
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, Lynaes (854) wrote:

Absolutely heart-breaking, I could this so much as I read through, the last stanza was seriously gut wrenching.. Sad, in such a beautiful way. Amazing work. ~L
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, worm (1149) wrote:

don't sweat the small stuff! if he can't see you for who you really are then fuck him! and besides if he is cheating, you don't need him... now or next week!
On Thursday, June 3, 2004, KittyStryker (710) wrote:

it's not cheating... how do i put this? i love him, he says he loves me, and we have a casual relationship. we're both poly. it's not that- it's the lack of time for me cause of his preferance.
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, murder_in_clubland (384) wrote:

Yeah sometimes assholes need to be dumped. great write hun~ss
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, Mistress Shadow (249) wrote:

Currently being there, and past eating the vegetable and all, this a great.~T~
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, BleedSilver (298) wrote:

I liked the reference to veggies...I don't wanna, But I know its good for me...Such a heartbreaking piece, kitty...~Mikey
A former member wrote: this is so true, how us humans treat each other like stuffed animals, there to cuddle and when the softness wears off, we find another...yes the weekend will soon come
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, aXe FactoR (333) wrote:

the pain reflected in this piece seems so real. it leaves me feeling rather depressed,cos i can kinda relate to this. u put ya point across so well,& so emotional. great write. :)
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, KittyStryker (710) wrote:

it is real. it's my words... bleeding because i don't even have the desire to do that anymore. bleh. the weekend can't come soon enough.
A former member wrote: .l.i.s.t.e.n. don't look at my frail existence just listen to my mind. don't turn your eyes away not tonight not ever again. opps sorry but i cant help it after reading me couldnt stop..great read
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, KittyStryker (710) wrote:

there's now way to make someone listen if they don't want to hear you. ::sigh:: thank you.
On Wednesday, June 2, 2004, Johny_D_Lewis (467) wrote:

Ouch..this is so painful it almost brought a tear to my eye. I like the way you compared it to how a stuffed animal would feel. It used to be your fav, it always stayed by your side..until another one came along.