fold me in black.

It crushes me

Coursing through me like
liquid silence

Fills me with
black echos


Whispers to me like
What if, and
If only, and
Only now, and
Now you, and
You can't

I can't what?
Can't breathe,
Can't come up for air,
Can't break the surface of this sea of loneliness


So I'm squeezing this pillow and it doesn't even smell like him

It never did.

Last time I checked shadows don't have a scent
And imaginary heroes aren't in the habit of dousing themselves in Drakkar Noir


So tonight I'm just treading broken waters with my photographic regrets
Singing stanzas to my fallen dreams

Pretending they are falling stars at 11:11

And wishing I were different,
Wishing I had changed for him

Wishing there had ever been a him to change for.


But there's nothing,
nothing but the black above,
the blue below,
and me in the middle

So I close my eyes
float
and just breathe.