waking up dead

one eye open
clumsy fingers feel my throat

|first reaction to blame someone else|

i wonder...who bound me
i wonder...why not i choke.d
this rope was so

..twisted..

and in it..it was .soaked.
with the pains of a lifetime
a lifetime full of sin
with.in it the truths
to the true
meaning.s
meaning
means
.end.

the wish i had
..finally..
had finally

(...wished true...)

the feeling stricken sensation
i knew i was dead
the world felt so strange
so sudden
so odd
carrion
down
fall
.
i
am
caught in a.while
i strum my guitars.trings
to find they aren't there
as razor sharp trickles
scratch out my mind
and my teeth
falling
out.wards
asylum.s
revealed
i find

|||my mind|||

i am grasping and pulling
my face shredding
..off..
my heart.beat is slowing
as it speeds past my lawn
and
i'm whimpering halo.s
of the songs i once sung
the pain
and the blind courage
that led me
within
spinning
straight lines
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
i veer into shadows
but not
in
due
time



and




i'll never realize
and i'll never know
nothing but the sorrow.s
of another..alone


...wandering...


..lost..


.soul.