Fade Out

On a night such as this...
I'd like to be
curled up in an entertaining book.
Or scanning a dictionary
to improve my lame vocabulary.
Snuggling with my love
in his warm embrace.
I should be laughing.
Having hot, wonderful,
passionate sex.
...I should be happy.

Or at least,...I'd like to be.
But I am not.

On this night,
I'm alone.
And as i used to crave and hold
to my solitude...
Love tends to change that feeling.
Now I stare at these walls
and glance through this empty space
with a sense of longing.
I know where that happiness
has gone to. ...Far away
and long awaiting.

I can't get George Thorogood
out of my head with,
"I drink alone..."
Though I can't drink;
not preferrably alone.

As I fade into my mind,
I cant help but hope
someday I'll write enough
to get my words back.
I'll be smarter then a
damn 6th grader.
I'll provide for my
unborn baby.

I stare at the wall,
his pictures my only company...
my closest connection
with my love.
3+ years til we're together
again...

On a night such as this
I succumb to sleep
for in my dreams my
childish sorrows may
have a brake.

..."I drink alone"...