CONSPIRACY NEWS... 'The DaVinci Code' secrets revealed
I haven't actually read this book but I don't need to have for me to tell you how good it is. This book is really good. Everyone who reads it has told me how good it is already. Then they proceed to blather on about conspiracies and poofs in church and some shit about subliminal messages.
Here's the real low-down on the book. Of course it's good; the "western world" been writing novels for over three hundred years. You'd think people posing as writers could emulate what makes a good book by now.
The real conspiracy theory and subliminal message is this:
The book has been carefully coded to hypnotise the reader's brain. Then the messages begin. The messages convince the reader that The DaVinci Code is the greatest book ever written, and furthermore, that you must tell everyone about it, quick smart, or God* will get angry at you.
I know all this because I wrote the DaVinci Code. That's the other conspiracy theory I forgot to mention. The proof can be found if you spell the fake name of the author, Dan Brown, back to front.
If you can't understand how this proves everything then you need to go back to reading easily digestible conspiracy theories... like the one about George Bush, John Howard and Tony Blair being gay lovers; or that Osama Bin Laden's testicles are made out of plastic explosives; or that Six-Out is actually a filthy rich oil tycoon; or that it's really exercise that makes you fat - not eating McFilth and watching BoobyVision.
COMING SOON - The Six-Out conspiracy exposed!
* - God, in this case, being one of those old bearded dudes who likes to smite people with the occasional thunderbolt... as opposed to the "Wizard of Oz" version who can solve all your problems and have a sing-a-long at the same time.