CONSPIRACY NEWS... 'The DaVinci Code' secrets revealed

By TheBardOfBlasphemy


I haven't actually read this book but I don't need to have for me to tell you how good it is. This book is really good. Everyone who reads it has told me how good it is already. Then they proceed to blather on about conspiracies and poofs in church and some shit about subliminal messages.

Here's the real low-down on the book. Of course it's good; the "western world" been writing novels for over three hundred years. You'd think people posing as writers could emulate what makes a good book by now.

The real conspiracy theory and subliminal message is this:
The book has been carefully coded to hypnotise the reader's brain. Then the messages begin. The messages convince the reader that The DaVinci Code is the greatest book ever written, and furthermore, that you must tell everyone about it, quick smart, or God* will get angry at you.

I know all this because I wrote the DaVinci Code. That's the other conspiracy theory I forgot to mention. The proof can be found if you spell the fake name of the author, Dan Brown, back to front.

If you can't understand how this proves everything then you need to go back to reading easily digestible conspiracy theories... like the one about George Bush, John Howard and Tony Blair being gay lovers; or that Osama Bin Laden's testicles are made out of plastic explosives; or that Six-Out is actually a filthy rich oil tycoon; or that it's really exercise that makes you fat - not eating McFilth and watching BoobyVision.

COMING SOON - The Six-Out conspiracy exposed!

* - God, in this case, being one of those old bearded dudes who likes to smite people with the occasional thunderbolt... as opposed to the "Wizard of Oz" version who can solve all your problems and have a sing-a-long at the same time.


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A Blasphemedia Production
Published on Wednesday, August 24, 2005.     Filed under: "Comedy" and
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Comments on "CONSPIRACY NEWS... 'The DaVinci Code' secrets revealed"

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  • carlosjackal On Monday, February 4, 2019, carlosjackal (2466)By person wrote:

    Upon Osama Bin Laden’s death, Marines found that his testicles were apparently miniature Bureau de Changes that he used to pump millions of Euros into Iraq to get Saddam Hussein into trouble. That’s why the US invaded in 2003. It’s all in there as hidden messages in The Da Vinci Code. Just ask Nad Dworb.

  • Nail Bunny On Monday, October 17, 2005, Nail Bunny (161)By person wrote:

    I think i need to become much more familiar with all these conspiracy theorys you speek of. a good write (and I meen you book-the messaging was very good I have been told many times it's excellent)

  • Serenity On Thursday, August 25, 2005, Serenity (470)By person wrote:

    :) This just makes me want to read the book even more now ;) This for a good laugh!

  • AniDayz On Thursday, August 25, 2005, AniDayz (822)By person wrote:

    youre amazingness leaves me amazed.;)

  • A former member wrote: The DaVinci Code has a lot of cool information but, in this posters humble opinion is not a good book, maybe an ok book good action, all right plot but his writing style is more akin to a serials author

  • stormtalk On Wednesday, August 24, 2005, stormtalk (735)By person wrote:

    I heart smiting.

  • Six-Out On Wednesday, August 24, 2005, Six-Out (1481)By person wrote:

    Matt, we need to put plans into motion. No one is supposed to mention my secret life off of dp.

  • DarkPoet On Wednesday, August 24, 2005, DarkPoet (243)By person wrote:

    The Priory is watching you Nad Nworb. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: lol dude you're the king. I appreciate that you post these. I actually have read the book but had ALREADY read information about this prior to this book making it "the new thing" Scholar

  • A former member wrote: I've read and seen documentary works that attempted to prove both that Mary was raped by Roman soldiers and so Christ wasn't born from emaculate conception as well as Scholar

  • A former member wrote: some showing that there was a "daughter of God." The whole idea of religion has always fascinated me and I read up anything I can find. I thought that book was a great work of fiction only original in popular literature. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: Anyway, cool post, keep up the great discoveries:p ~Ship! Scholar

  • A former member wrote: Oh yah PS since you mentioned Bin Laden. While I was living in Saudi Arabia the entire area I lived in was created by "Bin Laden Construction" Seems even the government had a use for "that name" at some point ;) Enjoy Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Wednesday, August 24, 2005, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...maybe because the original development plans "blew up in their faces"...? okay, no more bad jokes from me... Scholar

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