Comments by ebonyamore
- "*smiles wistfully* i knew i should've done something with those last lines when you gave them to me to hold onto for you.. *winks* noah has a contender for my favorite in the cig logic series. i do so love the way the words flow from you."
Posted by ebonyamore on "cig. logic diaries #6 scarecrows vengence" by whisperer
- "I love the line 'raising you was a right i had to earn'. that's such simple beauty and strong emotion. gave me shivers :)"
Posted by ebonyamore on "Adara Star" by Beautiful Scars
- "now THAT is sexy. erotica and elegance..."Because ours is a wingtip
and stiletto whirlwind of a romance
a double shot of whiskey and honey
to tease the tongue". Bravo! Oh, and I loved the allusion to Casablanca. Such inviting images. I'll be bookmarking this one when my account upgrades. Thanks for the great read!"
Posted by ebonyamore on "Soft Sway" by Sin
- "*wipes the tears out of my eyes from laughing so hard* you know I'm not afraid to offer you constructive criticism. I've done it before...and I don't throw this word around lightly but this needs NOTHING. It's perfect! I listened to the song while reading....the rhythms are almost a perfect match and my god you're scathingly, wickedly funny (the callouses are getting so much more discouraging)!!!! *grins* BRA-VO!"
Posted by ebonyamore on "Parody: Get Boned" by CjPsychotic
- "wow...i don't really even know how to critique this....i'm not sure it needs it. very mystical and hightoned...detached and regal. nicely done...very nicely done indeed. p.s. i love the line 'they will taste the ether and love it'. gospel truth....total gospel."
Posted by ebonyamore on "Christ of the Blackheart" by Riven Waker
- "always your words....make such a deep impression on me. sometimes they hold me too tight at it hurts. sometimes they stroke me just the right way and its beyond pleasure. sometimes the deep impression is made by how carefully they unwrap themselves around me. write on, surgeon of words."
Posted by ebonyamore on "is it over" by whisperer
- "this..was..i don't really have words for this to be honest. it's so powerful in its cynicism and fatigued rage. i know i love it...i just don't have a clue what to say about it other than that."
Posted by ebonyamore on "Untitled" by Cutting_for_Freedom
- "my god but that's sexy. and i so know those feelings but the way you phrased them...*shivers* heeellll yes. more please..."
Posted by ebonyamore on "but not softly" by disposable
- "The fourth and fifth stanzas on this could easily have stood alone for me- though the entire piece was excellently wrought. (your thirst for collateral damage/has become a fire inside me) slapped me across the face. Powerful image. Well done you two!!"
Posted by ebonyamore on "Volatile Conductivity" by CjPsychotic
- "*laughs* this is the sort of mad-hatter poetry I can really get behind because, honestly, who writes a sonnet to the flu? Huge points for creativity on this one. And AGAIN...your word choices are spot on. I loooved the entire closing stanza. and the phrase viral vapor laced with pain. My one true critique? Its nitpicky again but I love free verse poetry and I love Shakespearean sonnets equally as much. But to me, let your free verse be free verse and let your rhymed and metered stanzas follow hard and fast their mathematical formulas. To me, rhymed poem should have a slightly tighter cadence. But again...just me. "
Posted by ebonyamore on "...I'm Sick...." by CjPsychotic
- "i don't know why, but the phrase arbor canvas brought tears to my eyes. There's honestly nothing I could tell you to do to improve this piece except to submit it to every publication that accepts artistic contributions and be proud of these words. they're truly your brainchild and there's not a misstep among them. they lit up my night. "
Posted by ebonyamore on "An Honoring Toast" by CjPsychotic
- "this has an undeniable thread of brilliance woven all through it. your word choices are intuitive and ballsy. the entire first stanza is perfect. the second is great although, honestly, sorry just doesn't seem to fit. there's nothing sorry about this...either by way of apologetic or pathetic. the third stanza/couplet is great too and my favorite part of the entire thing happens in the fourth stanza...the first four lines. my only real suggestion to you other than the one word that just seems so out of place is that i kept feeling like this was TRYING really hard to have a rhyme and rhythm to it...like it wanted to be the bull's hoofbeats charging the ground thunderously but some of the time it got in its own way. you might want to play with it just a little to see if you can pin down a rhythm. not that the words themselves need it, but it seems like its there, just beneath the surface of the words already.
cheers,
~amore"
Posted by ebonyamore on "Matador's Outfit" by CjPsychotic
- "*grins wickedly and contemplates* I feel like I should be paying you somehow just for the obscene pleasure I get in reading this....the absolute sardonic, biting 'me fucking neither' is GOLD! *throws my arms around your neck* thank you thank you thank you for being the one who finally says what truly needed to be said on this subject....lol"
Posted by ebonyamore on "Lindsay Lohan is Lonely" by freudian-slip
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