CONSPIRACY NEWS... The Six-Out you never knew
By TheBardOfBlasphemy
.
Dark poets from every corner of this stinking globe have asked the following
question at some time or another:
How is it that Six-Out can write so many poems and still find time to
heap shit on mine?
The answer is complex and took a mighty effort of investigative journalism* but this effort has been rewarded with the bowel-splattering
truth.
The Six-Out that we all know and love/hate (please circle/cross out/piss
on one option) is not actually one person. He is not even two persons.
First, allow me to introduce the man you have met in the chat-box... the
man who occasionally dumps a steaming load on your latest and greatest.
Six-Out was born into a moderately wealthy and highly pretentious family
as Ferdinand Albertus Georgio Mandrake Alsonso Neocon. His special talent
for "wooing" board directors saw Ferdinand's rapid rise through the corporate
ranks. Timely investments in the porn and petroleum industries realised
Ferdinand's dream of becoming an oil tycoon. At the tender age of twenty-three,
everything was as he had planned...
Time wearied Ferdinand. There is, after all, only so much coke you can
sniff out of a bimbo's boob-crack before it all starts to taste the same.
He needed a new challenge.
Near the end of the 20th century Ferdinand joined DarkPoetry and assumed
his current alias. His sole aim was to torment the undernourished minds
of struggling poets with bitter sarcasm and occasional offers of gay sex.
The only question remaining is: Where do Six-Out's poems come from? Rich
people, after all, are too busy being rich to bother being creative. Just
look at Britney Spears.
In Six-Out's case, he has a special farm house where (far from prying eyes)
he keeps two thousand illiterate Mexicans chained to typewriters and fed
an intravenous drip of opium-laced tequila.
Sporadically, a masterpiece is produce by these sweatshop workers, but
mostly they just type bullshit.
It's the latter which gets posted here...
* - Investigative journalism comprised of
going through Six-Out's trash, his porn stash, and his mum's underwear
drawer.
.
Comments on "CONSPIRACY NEWS... The Six-Out you never knew"
-
On Monday, March 6, 2006, Kinkypoptart
(555) wrote:
wow... said all the things i've imagined about the man behind the six-out mask. Great work ~*~Tart~*~
-
On Friday, September 23, 2005, Butterfly
(99) wrote:
I knew it. *Shrugs* oh well. you definately made me giggle a little bit with this one. :)
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, ApathysKiss
(377) wrote:
hahaha brilliant, bard! lmao ~michelle
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, elisa
(1595) wrote:
just because he's covered in petroleum jelly and watching porn doesn't mean he's an oil tycoon...........that just makes him a greasy pervert;).......Ferdinand...lol
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, elisa
(1595) wrote:
'..........i would, my friend, Fernando.....'.......disco......ABBA :P
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, sIo
(898) wrote:
my six....
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, Trail of Fiends
(37) wrote:
Someone give this man an award. Any.
-
A former member wrote:
"There is, after all, only so much coke you can sniff out of a bimbo's boob-crack before it all starts to taste the same" I hope you don't mind but I am going to have to intagrate this phrase into my everyday vocabulary now
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, glasshouse
(530) wrote:
Eh, this is old news. I knew this so very long ago. Glad its out though. The secret was weighin on my shoulders. -Glass
-
A former member wrote:
*gears up with piano wire pistols shotguns and grenades* you have made a mistake speaking these un-truths about Master Ferdinand. Did you not think he had his own killing force? as the head of his mafia, i will have him avenged
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, Six-Out
(1423) wrote:
Truth. And those damn mexicans get paid a copious amount of grass and water. Prepare to die.
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, Malice In Wonderland
(976) wrote:
Why am I not suprised?
-
A former member wrote:
Ah, a little revision and this could qualify as your "Dawn of Man" entry. Six-Out is actually god.
-
On Saturday, August 27, 2005, Mahakala
(207) wrote:
i totally agree with you...only cuz i think six is too damn adorable ;P
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, peril_notion
(87) wrote:
The poor mexicans *cries*
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, AniDayz
(812) wrote:
truth hurts eh?;). this is fabulous. [i love you anyway jon.*]
-
On Friday, August 26, 2005, Serenity
(469) wrote:
And there it is, the long awaited answer to the famous question. :P lmao
-
A former member wrote:
i fucking knew it.