Come Sweet Unknown.

By Dancing_Monkey

I stand here to challenge;
Intolerant
In desire, come sweet eluminess fire
Years of hollow eyes, lack of fulfillment
A seaker of wisdom, whereby need of awareness
Clouds do gather, be they blackend or not
Life giving whines become to entangle
My prospering self, dwell;
Shivering, as I seek
To take a stand, firsthand
A life of illusions crave for yet another
This burdensome task I wielded;
Upon myself, a extinguished path.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2003 Dancing_Monkey
Published on Thursday, November 6, 2003.     Filed under: "Poetry"
Log In or Join (free) to see the special features here.

Comments on "Come Sweet Unknown."

Log in to post comments.
More comments: continue
  • DarkPoet On Tuesday, May 12, 2015, DarkPoet (229)By person wrote:

    Just a test here. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: this is still such astounding hypnosis.....a falling through the reverie...a c.rush at the bottom, looking and blinking up in so much brilliance....so very pretty. Scholar

  • ubiquitoussoul On Tuesday, March 30, 2010, ubiquitoussoul (343)By person wrote:

    These are empowering words...that uplift me and make me feel stronger...I truly appreciate that.

  • A former member wrote: i think..........no-----i feel ..captured...engulfed, nearly embraced by this divine hollow beautiful dream you created; a wish of, a hope for, a need to. . .. holy egads. ... eloquence and reverence drips

  • carlosjackal On Wednesday, August 22, 2007, carlosjackal (2788)By person wrote:

    Fucking rocked and not a line out of place. This was Shakespeare for the noughties, a cry to shake off our comforts sought from capitalism and head to a braver newer world. Wonderful :)

  • Mylissa On Wednesday, August 22, 2007, Mylissa (825)By person wrote:

    Exactly what he said...:oP Wonderfully done.

  • A former member wrote: And may I also have the strength to challenge... I usually don't comment where so many others have but I needed these words

  • thelostmessenger On Friday, May 18, 2007, thelostmessenger (110)By person wrote:

    i love the title and it really works with this amazing peice of poetry. nice work. *messenger

  • Solace On Sunday, October 23, 2005, Solace (1065)By person wrote:

    I come here so often; and leave so few words - what words could be left; not worldessness for that is silence - but perhaps an inability of expression - of complete conception...unknowing...

  • smearedXmakeup On Wednesday, June 1, 2005, smearedXmakeup (19)By person wrote:



  • Forgotten Angel On Saturday, February 26, 2005, Forgotten Angel (309)By person wrote:

    "in desire, come sweet eluminess fire" heh...dude..i cant say anything that wont b repeated..so all i have is to agree w/ every1 below me -Kel

  • Sin On Friday, November 5, 2004, Sin (1135)By person wrote:

    wow, what can i say that hasnt already been said, simply amazing ~kristy

  • purr_verse On Saturday, September 18, 2004, purr_verse (1052)By person wrote:

    "A life of illusions crave for yet another" - fantastic line; i love it... this is a highly excellent piece with so many images in such a small space; love the conclusion. :) damn damn fine!

  • A former member wrote: Jedi is right...the rhythm is perfection...it's wraps around your finger nicely...ever so smooth.

  • sulkylime On Wednesday, April 21, 2004, sulkylime (191)By person wrote:

    still it sounds like you intuitively know your path.. extinguished, is it.. years of hollow eyes but you're not blind.. only a brave soldier.. you're not taken back by the blackened clouds, you'll move forward.. the stand you take, driven by your unfulfil

  • sulkylime On Wednesday, April 21, 2004, sulkylime (191)By person wrote:

    unfulfilled desire is a fulfilling journey on its own.. whether to be doomed or not.. reminds me of the last scene in braveheart. that's my take on it. powerful.. loved it, monkey !

  • capt_funguy On Saturday, April 17, 2004, capt_funguy (777)By person wrote:

    ok .... i got it ... ready , ? ... acupuncture .. thats what you do ... subtle pins placed , and the effect is felt elsewhere ...insinuation , leads to a pointed gift prhaps not even fully realized ..

  • capt_funguy On Saturday, April 17, 2004, capt_funguy (777)By person wrote:

    like an insinuation .. a feeling .. projected ..this reads as realization to me .. but with a flipped despair ..a saddening irony .. but i dont look at you , i look at myself ... know what i mean ? .. very cool man ... funguy

  • SilencedAngel On Saturday, April 10, 2004, SilencedAngel (52)By person wrote:

    Wonderful poem. I truly enjoyed reading it.

  • Liath On Monday, April 5, 2004, Liath (35)By person wrote:

    Fuckin' powerful. Reminds me of myself, and how I feel, everyday. I believe in fate, and I don't feel like I have fulfilled my purpose in life yet, and I feel that I am unimportant until I have. You never know, maybe this is my purpose.

  • A former member wrote: Ah, the burdensome task we all seek to finish. I loved this. Your words flow so freely. Great work my friend, great work. -Doll

  • sweetambrosia On Monday, February 2, 2004, sweetambrosia (80)By person wrote:

    I love the disillusions in this... terrific write. --sweets.

  • A former member wrote: You asked, and here I am. (As if you don't have enough comments, you damn popular [sexy] monkey!) Loved the poem "Clouds do gather, be they blackend or not".. Beautiful line. Great write. ~Wish Upon A Star

  • Delphoid-Q On Friday, January 23, 2004, Delphoid-Q (213)By person wrote:

    As always, you suggest without revealing. You try to get a feeling across. You have succeeded. Well done.

  • cre On Wednesday, December 31, 2003, cre (410)By person wrote:

    Mmm. So many lines sort of whisper to me . . and as always I feel like I could read this write 100 times and find something new each time .. and you know, that's no small feat especially with such a concise write. Very nice job.

  • cre On Wednesday, December 31, 2003, cre (410)By person wrote:

    I especially liked the "clouds do gather" and the "life of illusions" lines.

  • _Andrew_ On Thursday, December 25, 2003, _Andrew_ (245)By person wrote:

    awesome peter, i can see you maturing more and more, not only as a writer but as a man in itself. your sense of feel interests me, nice work here

  • Amanda Parnell On Friday, December 12, 2003, Amanda Parnell (57)By person wrote:

    *looks around to see if monkey saw I left a comment* Very much relateable. felt deeply within my innerself. *amanda*

  • KittyStryker On Saturday, December 6, 2003, KittyStryker (710)By person wrote:

    brilliantly done. i like how this flows and sticks.

  • sole On Friday, November 28, 2003, sole (93)By person wrote:

    This is written like a pro man. I've really come to love your style of writing, please keep it up.

  • A former member wrote: I still fuckin love this write man, incredible. ~Ryan

  • A Velvet Tongue On Monday, November 10, 2003, A Velvet Tongue (434)By person wrote:

    wow monk....this was a brick-in-the-face poem...smacks ya and all you can do is sit there in the sting of it for a few moments..I swear you get better and better with each sentence you write..Loved it...* 4 snaps..and a twirl on one foot*

  • Aurora_Light On Thursday, November 6, 2003, Aurora_Light (472)By person wrote:

    speechless monkey i dont what to say to this i wish i could have helped is the onlthing that pops in my mind wel done write

  • The Fallen Angel On Thursday, November 6, 2003, The Fallen Angel (234)By person wrote:

    greatness monkey, poetry that tickles my senses...you know that I love this kind of brilliance, you never fail in enlightening me which only a handful have+Fallen One+

  • Blood of Winter On Thursday, November 6, 2003, Blood of Winter (296)By person wrote:

    this stuff would make great songs*still singing in flames style tempo in head*...

  • yslehc On Thursday, November 6, 2003, yslehc (334)By person wrote:

    aww its beautiful..i agree with suicidal, i like your style too in general

  • Mischevious Princess On Thursday, November 6, 2003, Mischevious Princess (28)By person wrote:

    Peter~ This is a very deep poem. i like it... and i also like the way you write your poems in general. keep it up with your style and you'll soon be famous! lol but it is a beautifully written and deep poem ~forever hiding in the shadows~ Amber

Contribution Level

Dancing_Monkey's Favorite Poets
Dancing_Monkey's Favorite Works
Share/Save This Post



Join DarkPoetry Join to get a profile like this for yourself. It's quick and free.

How to Criticize Without Causing Offense
© 1998-2024 DarkPoetry LLC
Donate
[Join (free)]    [More Poetry]    [Get Help]    [Our Poets]    [Read Poems]    [Terms & Privacy]

Attention: Darkpoetry is now in maintenance mode and will be shutting down soon. Save your work if you wish to keep it.